A
female
age
41-50,
*aputa
writes:Well, shortly, i'm 30years old, married to a 65year old miser! I have no source of income whatsoever. I and our 6 month old started living with him 2months ago. We had dated for an adequate duration. We have a bad situation concerning our finances. He practically doesn.t want to spend money on anything besides basics. Not even buying expensive toys for our daughter e.g. Exersaucer. Reason is that they get bored so easily hence no need to buy them expensive toys. I just visited our neighbors, the first household i've visited so far since he has no friends he visits or who visit him, i'm in disbelief! He makes way much than they do, but we live in an ancient household because he doesn.t want to spend. My proposal to change afew items have been ignored, on defence that he is too busy with his business. The couple we visited share similar circumstances. Husband works, his immigrant wife takes care of their son. Right now i'm so angry and wondering if i will live like this. I realize i can't. Is it possible to change a miser? If not, is it too soon to call it quits? Moreso, i realize we are extremely different in so many social aspects, that i'm so tired to even mention. Moreso, i asked him we work out on a monthly expenditure plan for me. The idiot gave a ridicolous figure. 2wks ago, which he hasn't given me yet. Moron. I detest him so much, right now. I'm in a fury. Why the did he marry a 30yr old woman if he planned to live the way he does? Moreso, there is no intimacy between us. No kissing, touching, sex etc. I've given him hints and even brought up the subject but nothing happens. At my age, i need someone who can show me love. He keeps claiming that not many people live his life and that he is special(i consider him a weirdo). He once mentioned that he has come to learn that people think they know him, but actually no one really does. What do i do? He inquires why i'm down, i've told him that i'm ok. I've put across the above issues in different perspectives, and i'm not ready to go down that road. Shit, my life sucs. This is how i welcome 2012!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (1 January 2012):
 Leave him. Life is too short to be this unhappy
A
male
reader, Dodds +, writes (31 December 2011):
 Sorry about your situation, tough economy, difficulty finding decent jobs, marriage complications etc etc.
What attracted you to this man initially? Did you foresee any of the problems you currently face? And what have you tried to do to make things better apart from talking to him i.e. making your own money to buy you and your kid stuff you need. Are you in love with the guy still and what limits are there to the sacrifices you're willing to make for him and is he aware of them?
Your needs being met by the man in your life is critical in ensuring you have a long lasting and healthy relationship...but of course you know that!!! Life is short so I think you need to get more agressive in getting the things you want out of your relationship with this man because at his age he has seen it all, done it all, while your life is at a point where you want to experience things on another level and he just can't see it. MAKE HIM SEE IT or prepare yourself for tough decisions you'll have to make in the future.
GOOD LUCK, AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
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A
female
reader, momof2boys  +, writes (31 December 2011):
WOW thats a lot to digest, here is my advice... Hope it helps, first..... he is way too old for you. The age difference alone is the first barrier. why are you with him? I get that love doesnt recognize age, I get that, but so far you dont sound happy. Second, if he is cheap, and a tight-wad, that will not change. sorry to say, its true. He sees you as a child, (he could be your dad) sorry. And you have a child. Is that his child? or someone elses? I would do this if I were you, If he would pay for you to go back to school and get a degree of some sort, let him pay for it. Then leave once you have saved up some money. Or you could go to work doing something you already know how to do, and stash away most of what you make to leave, I can tell you that your future is up to you, and that situation does not sound promising, my dad was 20 years older than my mom, he had grown kids when he married her, she was never happy, she stayed with him till he died. Dont make the same mistake, stash away cash, and get out.
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