A
female
age
36-40,
*isa85
writes:Ok here is my situationI have been married with my husband 5 years, I was a virgin when he took me, he had his fun before me. But just recently I started this appetite of having sex with other guys just to try it out. is that normal?should i feel guilty?I have been with 3 strangers allready, but did not enjoy it.Should I stop?Should I continue until this trying out sex partners feeling gets out of my system?What does everyone thing?Thank you Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Wiseguy555 +, writes (4 June 2010):
Well...seeing as you already ruined the marraige, and threw away 5 years of your life you should just keep sleeping with other men. You already did it once, and in my opinion once you cheat its over, you no longer kept sacred the bond that the two lovers shared, it just gets passed around now. Ev en if he doesn't know you cheated, you know. Married you guys act as one, its spoiled though now. I think you should strengthen your impulse control and your selfcontrol and seek a psychiatrist for this crave of strangers you have.
A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (3 June 2010):
 I really think this is a fake post but just in-case there was a little chance of this post being genuine I will throw in my two cents.
If your not liking your one night stand adventure why would you continue.
If you had a conscious you would feel guilty.
If this is normal behavior, not if your a decent wife.
Should you stop I think you might find tempting to have an open marriage talk to him about it. You can't get mad if he goes swinging from other branches back to you thought.
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A
female
reader, namu  +, writes (3 June 2010):
You need Jesus my dear. I don't care if your hubby had his fair share with women, the most important thing is to focus on loving your better half.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (3 June 2010):
 Terrible. That just isn't fair. He got to play, of course you should get to play as well. Keep sleeping with strangers until that urge is gone. You go girl!
Actually, I don't believe that... I just felt bad that everybody else was against you and I wanted to show some support. This is nuts, I hope you're just a troll because if this is true.... wow.
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A
female
reader, bad romaance  +, writes (3 June 2010):
 I personally think that this urge comes from a unnoticed jealousy of your husbands experience whilst he is the only sexual partner that you have had. If this blind sex is unsatisfying why are you doing it?
Yes this is bad and if I were you id feel terribly guilty.
You are his wife, you are meant to love him and he should be enough for you, no this is not normal, in this sense i agree with caringguy you should not have gotten married.
Anyways its up to you either you continue this and lose your marriage which i believe you will regret in the end or get over this unnecessary urge, whether you tell him or not is also your choice. Well good luck.
Shauna X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): Well yes you should stop and you should tell your husband. This isn't write, would you like it if he did it to you? I don't think so. I agree with all the other posters - come clean or start over.
NightFairy
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): Come clean with your husband, since marrying him means you need to be able to share ALL of your feelings, even those ones. It's never too late to share with him your desire to look elsewhere for sex. Tell him how you feel, and get his take on it. Also, there maybe a way to fix things within your marriage, sexually, to make you feel completely satisfied with just his sex. It appears you were married much too early, or that you've realized how sexually frustrated or unsatisfied you are, with him. Either way, you need to share what is going on inside you, with your husband, confess your actions, and go from there. If he decides to continue the marriage, I would suggest marriage counselling, in this case. If you don't think you can live an honest life with him in the future, break up, because you both need to feel satisfied and happy with each other, and that can't happen without honesty. Honesty will bring you closer together, and lies will do the opposite.
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female
reader, MandaManderkins +, writes (3 June 2010):
 When you said yes to getting married you vowed you would not sleep with anyone else or love anyone else. And why should you ask us if it's wrong. Would you be hurt if you where in his shoes. The reason marrage is so important is you have to control your urges you gave into them.
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (3 June 2010):
 If sex with strangers is unsatisfying, why continue doing it?
And for the record, your husband had his fun BEFORE you. It's not his fault that you chose to give him your virginity and settle down before you had an opportunity to go out an sow your oats. You don't get a "do-over" just because you missed out on having lots of sex before marriage.
You should end your marriage rather than continue to sleep with strangers. You're not ready to be anyone's wife.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (3 June 2010):
 How do you think your husband would feel if he found out? You're putting him in danger of STD's by running around with strangers. You're also putting yourself in danger of pregnancy. NO birth control saves you from that. What are you going to do, lie and pretend your husband fathered the babies?
You are indulging in self-destructive behavior. Something in your subconscious wants you to destroy your self-esteem, your confidence, and your success. The fact that your husband wasn't a virgin before you is no justification for cheating on him. What if he was the one running around having one-night stands with strangers? How would that make you feel?
If you can justify what you're doing and not feel guilty (if you have to even ask if you SHOULD feel guilty), then you're in a troubled position. Most people can't hurt their spouses that way, and you should not be married. Only 5 years and you're screwing around with no remorse, and you don't deserve to be anything but alone.
If I were you, I'd stop screwing around IMMEDIATELY and hope none of this gets back to your husband. I'd take a pregnancy and STD test, and go see a professional to find out what's causing this behavior, because there is NO WAY you can be a happy person.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): I am sort of having the same situation where iv been with my boyfriend for 4 years and he was my first everything and i was always so head over heels in love, all i could think about was him but for the past month iv really been wanting more.... different people. I haven't cheated and i wont but its been eating me up inside. I dont really know what to do either. I know its because he has been showing a lack of affection and is not as attentive so maybe if he changes i would feel better? Do you find that there is something missing in your relationship? The big thing is that you cheated and more than once. It is very wrong of you especially since your in a relationship. Maybe you got married too young and need to rethink being with this person. Its also not fair to them for their wife to be chesting on them. Its also not fair to you to feel like you have to be stuck in a relationship that is no longer fullfilling anymore.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 June 2010):
You should never have got married. That fact you don't feel guilty shows that. And you will never get it out of your system this way either. You need to either stop, or end your marriage and have fun. If you don't, you'll get found out and lose everything.
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