A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has just gone on holiday with his friends.. We were having a few problems but we sorted it all out before he left. I love him so much and I'd hate for us to have left it on a bad note.He's been away with his mates before and I should be used to it by now, but for some reason after he told me today all the plans he has (bar crawls, beach parties, all inclusive drinks) the first thing that popped into my mind was "there's gonna be half naked girls on this holiday". I hate that he's going to be drunk around these girls. He cheated once on his first lads holiday 3 years ago and I forgave him. It was just a kiss and he was drunk. How can I not worry?? He does some crazy things when he's drunk, half the time he can't even remember the night before. I don't think hed go out looking for girld, but what if a girk comes onto him?Its so hard because I'm having such a stressful time with family at the moment, money issues and and work is a nightmare. I'm covering a colleagues work while she's away for a while and its getting on top of me. Any other week I think I'd be fine but he seems to have gone at the worst time and I need him here to comfort me. And these insecurities aren't helping the way I'm feeling one bit.Anyone got any wise words or anything that will make me feel better about all this??
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female
reader, BunnyTee  +, writes (3 June 2010):
 Well, I can offer you what I know to be true and that is: He's going to do what he's going to do regardless of what you do or don't worry about.
You can worry yourself sick over this, but it changes absolutely nothing.
The best thing you can do is look after you, right now. Let him go do his thing. You do your's.
If he screws up while gone and you later find out about it. Then deal with it when that time comes if it ever comes. If he does manage to toe the line and governs himself properly, then you'll have not wasted your time and effort worrying over something that *might* happen. Sometimes, guys surprise you by acting right even when you're not around. It CAN happen, though most of us would usually say Oh sure it does. Just look after you right now. You don't want gray hair at your age
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): There is nothing that anyone can probably say to you that would make you less worried or stressed, but here are a few suggestions: Try not to think about him being gone. The more you think about it the crazier you will feel. also try to plan something fun for yourself to take your mind off of things, even if it is a hot bath with strawberries and champaigne. I am currently in the same situation and it is hard for me to not think what my partner is doing especially when I have so many other stressors going on in my life but the thing to remember is this: whatever he does you can't change it so why worry. always remember put yourself and your situation first because the only life you can completely control is yours and really that's all that matters. Keep your head up and your mind off of him!!!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (3 June 2010):
 Yeah, if he was undfaithful to you before, you have reason to not trust him. So my real question to you is:
Why are you stil with him?
Relationships are built on trust. Without it, it's all lust and flakiness, and the partner who did not cheat suffers and is a slave to his or her feelings. That is what you are now - a slave to your feelings to this guy.
He has everything he wants - an adoring girlfriend and the freedom to act single in every way. He's not ready for a relationship because he has not grown up.
You've got a choice. If you kick him to the curb, it will hurt, but not as much as this ongoing agony of mistrust and worry. Drunkenness is no escuse for cheating behavior. Let this guy go and find someone who loves YOU whether he's sober, drunk, or unconscious!
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