A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am lost. The past two months have been the worst in my life. For these two months my wife and i have not lived at the same place. It was forced upon us. About a week after i was gone my wife just put her fiendness in full throttle. Now times have been very rough after the baby was born. When that happened we both drifted apart. She was going through post pardom. I was working at this time. She was very unhappy to stay home. So i took over taking care of our baby. After about a month i was depressed because a baby is hard. My wife basically ran away emotionally. Over the past 16 months my wife and i had a falling out. She was doing whatever she wanted. I was takin care of the baby. Now while i was with the baby i just didnt have the time to pay attention to what she was doin. Now we come back too seven weeks ago. I started to notice the deception being put to me by her. I called her out on these things and of course denial. That started a war between us. I started to research signs of a cheating spouse. I read a ton of different articles. I also started following phone records facebook email and such. The fighting was ugly guilt trips to throwing past things in each others faces. On tuesday i figured a big piece of the puzzle out. She entered into an emotional affair with her female friend. This devastated me. Im supposed to be the one she trust im supposed to be the one she comes to.. I forgot to mention that she also was shooting up. Hell of a night that was . I found the needle in the bathroom. She told me at the time that it was only for a month and it was only three or four times. This was may. Today i made a choice early this morning that the fighting must end. I followed thru on this. When i saw her today at the house i saw all the tools so to speak and other paraphanalia. I didnt start a fight. I got very sad. I did not say a word about it but at the same time she knew i knew. She still hasnt said a word about it and i basically accepted it. Im waiting till she will come to me. I dont know what to do. Im lost and destroyed the lies dont stop. I still love her with all that i am. My question is what would u do
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male
reader, DDOC  +, writes (20 June 2010):
She is an addict. And you are not helping her by not standing up to this. You are co-dependant.
Walk away with the child (as long as you are not an addict) and tell her she needs to get her s___ together. Your baby will not have a good life in this environment. Do it for your bay. Do it for yourself... and maybe this will encoutage your wife to save herself. If she has PP depression she may need counselling and / or prescription anti-depressants. But she really really does not need drug or alcohol.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (20 June 2010):
 You two need to open up dialogue. Let her know that you two need to talk. Things need to change. Your relationship cannot continue the way it is going. Set a time for this talk. Have her bring a list of things she feels need changed, and you do the same. The purpose of this is not at all to fight, but discuss new directions. At least then, you'll have a place to begin.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2010): Your wife needs professional help. Between post-partum depression and hard drug use and her erratic behavior, I am not sure there is much you can do on your own to help her out.
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