A
female
age
30-35,
*ucylocket05
writes:so in a couple of days i will be 20, and on my 20th birthday my bf is taking me away and we have discussed us sleeping together then.I am aware of the big step, but am also aware of how ready i am with him to proceed with this. He is also aware of my virginity.But i am curious mostly of the pain and blood, eg quantities of both. I know that my best bets are to be relaxed and just enjoy it, but as i have never done anything sexual before i am just wondering if there is any advice that anyone can give me just so that i am more clued up and aware of it all.I am very excited of this experience and just want to know as much as i can about it to potentially make it more enjoyable, but again would also like to know about the pain and blood factor.Thankyou :) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): I forgot something that is very important! My first time I didn't know about being "wet" and I was all dry, which I think caused it to hurt. So make sure you are wet, literally. If your natural juices isn't enough, use lubricant. Whats enough you may ask? If it feels like he's rubbing up against your outer lips instead of sliding against, then there's not enough. Example, rub your finger against your vagina. Then put lubricant on your finger and do the same, you'll see the big difference.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): I've heard of these women who bleed the following days, but it has not been determined if that was because of the sex or something else (like maybe they got a period). The body reacts in different ways. A good friend of mine got severe belly aches the following day. Another good friend of mine didn't feel a thing, didn't bleed or anything and just thought it was great. Me, I guess I landed somewhere in the middle, I didn't bleed, it hurt a little (because nothing of that size had been up there before) but at the same time it felt good as well.
My advice to you is to go at it slow, and take your time. Is it his first time as well? Well in either case, make this about YOU and not him. Make this about pleasing you. We women seem to think that we have to last until the man ejaculates inside us. It doesnt have to be that way. Especially for your first time, just have him penetrate you sloooowly, going in just a tiny tiny bit at a time and making sure you feel ready to take more before he pushes in deeper. Then once he's in you, let him be there for a while without moving, and maybe have him pull out and call it a night. I mean, both before and after you guys can experiment with oral sex, or you can give him a handjob afterwards if you want to. But I advice you to not push your limits the first time. Settle with getting him in, and then take it from there. If you feel ready for more, let him give you a few thrusts. If it hurts, have him pull out and next time you keep at it a little longer.
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A
female
reader, sltaylor  +, writes (2 February 2010):
 Ok heres the thing... Planning for something like this is kinda nerve racking because u'll have these high expectations for something and if they dont live up to ur expectations then u'll be very disappointed. So relax that night and just enjoy ur bday. Act like you dont know whats going to happen and just go with the flow. As far as the blood, u have a hymen and once there is penetration in the virgininy, that hymen breaks and may cause a little spotting. I know for my first time there was no bleeding at all. But then again my first time was horrible because I had these really high expectations that were not lived up to. Anyway, just have fun and relax. Do not put pressure on urself or ur boyfriend. Good luck and Happy Birthday!
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (2 February 2010):
 It may not be nearly as bad as you think. So relax. If he gives you some oral stimulation first it helps a great deal. Otherwise have some water-based lubrication. And hopefully he will begin slow and gentle.
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