A
female
age
30-35,
*esire0102
writes:well this is really weird i am 19 years old and a female. i have a boyfren of a year and one month that cares so much about me but i do not feel the same. my bopyfren is an amazing friend i feel like we can b bestfrens cause he is always there for me but its not the relationship spark i want. he isnt fun to be around n he always seems so serious and depressed im so outgoing and love to laugh and have fun. i feel as if he is holdlin me bak from finding someone that is going to be that energetic boyfren.also i cheated on him with a guy that he okayed me to get oral sex from but it actually went further. he also brings it up and doesnt seem to get over it. the guy i cheated with we still talk on and off but im like head ova hills for him well his personalty. only thing is he doesnt want a girlfren but were sexual intimate. im so confused and it sucks to have two people in your life that you know isnt going anyway. some say that im scared of being lonely thing is i think so too. but its a fear that no one can help me get over. only thing i want to know is how to deal with this. should i break it off wit my boyfren n pursue this other guy that doesnt take me serious. or should i stay with my boyfren and think about the future. i kno he would be a good husband n father but i need someone exciting. i hate the fact that if we break up he doesnt even want to be y fren or have any contract with me what so ever .. please help me plese
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depressed, oral sex, spark Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (2 February 2010):
 At your apparent age, you are quite young to be much concerned about who might be a good husband and father. That would be admirable, but somewhat unusual these days. You admit already messing around for better sexual fun. I would suggest getting all that out of your system, and that could take awhile.
The sexual boyfriend will probably never be anything more, but some guy might prove to be both sexually energetic and a good catch if you look around. A guy who is too serious and depressed does not sound like a good match for you. Fortunately, you are still very young and have plenty of time.
A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (2 February 2010):
 No, you are the one holding yourself back. If your partner is not what you want, then it is YOUR CHOICE to end it and find someone who IS what you are looking for.
Don't blame him for being himself coz that happens not to suit you. Infact, you knowing he is not right for you kinda makes you the one holding HIM back coz at least you aware of your discontent, yet you choose to do nothing about it which is in effect, wasting time that HE has to find someone who wants him for him, just the way he is!
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