A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a slight problem, i started talking to a girl through friends and she is one of the few girls that i have enough common interest with that i can really have a good conversation with and have fun with. Everything seemed awesome till i asked her age, i assumed that from her looks, personality, and maturity that she had to be at least 17 or 18. Well she is 16 and im turning 20 this year.This hammered me because i highly dought my parents or hers would ever approve of this unless she just gushed maturity. They have always felt that i should stay with people further away from my states age of consent of 16, so technically everything is legal that could ever happen but at our ages i know the gap is usually huge and most the time this sorta thing doesn't end that well for anyone involved. Yet this is one of those few people that you just know that if you had a relationship that if it wasnt for the norms of age gaps it would work about as well as a relationship can. The second problem is that her mother specifically will not let her even go to a house that she knows that their is always a boy their because her mother got pregnant as a teen and doesn't want that to happen to any of her daughters so she literally will not let her have guys over even if supra-vised until she turns 18 and the age gap is just going to scream to her a problem waiting to happen typically. The thing is personally i dont want to have sex right away, im still a virgin and i dont plan on just throwing away that on the first girl that wants to mount me anyways. So what can i do about this then the obvious keep in touch until she is 18.
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female
reader, girl from bristol  +, writes (2 February 2010):
hi i can understand you not wanting to have sex straight away you need to get to know her more first her mum should trust her and realise that not all girls are stupid that is not a huge age gap a small gap yes i think your parents need to realise that you are old enough to lead your own live and make your own decisions on who you see i guess you should keep in contact with her until she is 18 get to know her more and you can do other things sexually apart from sex in the meantime
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): you can still hang out with her. It sounds like you really don't want the sexual relationship anyways right now so you could still see her. Just don't mention anything to your parents and hers unless you guys are in love or at least ready to spend alot of time with one another. I think that you can text/chat online, go on group dates have her bring a bunch of friends and visa versa so it's not obvious to the parents. That way you get to know her more and spend time without complicating everything.
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