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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Dear Angony Aunt,I am a 17 year-old high school senior. Last summer I lost my technical virginity. Since then I have had sex with six guys.I start college in the fall and I expect to bed a different guy every Friday and Saturday night.Do you think it will bother my future husband that I'm sexually adventurous and may even have more sexual experiences than he has? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, passionatelynumb  +, writes (6 April 2009):
 Wow, It would hurt like hell for me.
My fiance' is a wonderful and loving person, but her promiscuity in the past is something that hurts me emotionally on a daily basis. I contemplate leaving on an almost daily basis.
This question really disturbs me to be honest. Why would you want to go down this path? Sexual intimacy creates such a bond with the people you share it with. How do you think your husband would feel if he knows that he shares that supposively special bond with so many other men?
I know I wouldn't feel special at all.
Its your body and you can give it away as you like, but what are you really getting out of so many empty sexual encounters?
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (4 April 2009):
 That sounds like unhealthy behaviour. You might want to give your self esteem and your attitudes towards men and relationships a serious look, before embarking on a lifestyle like that. And yes, you are very possibly setting yourself up for problems with a future husband, but you knew that already when you asked the question.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (4 April 2009):
 Never mind what your future husband thinks! You really need to take a look at yourself, I think you have some massive self-confidence issues and are going to end up with some very nasty STIs or worse still a Baby!
And as for the male view on this: I'd wouldn't touch you with out being in a chemical warfare suit let alone put a ring on your finger!
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A
male
reader, PeteTTT +, writes (4 April 2009):
Better to be sexually adventerous with one or two guys over the next few years, lots more random partners isn't lots more sexual adventure, you'll try far more exciting things in bed with someone you've developed a trust and loving bond with. Also, someone who you've given time to get to know your body and what drives you really wild. Sleeping with two different men every week, probably drunken fumbling experiences won't make you good in bed and in fact, probably won't do much good for your mental state, not to mention the risks of disease or unwanted pregnancy.Also, if I found out that my partner had been a slut at college, I'd be very insecure about it, nobody wants to feel like they're just one amongst a large, indiscriminate crowd. I haven't slept about massively (a few one night stands in the last fifteen or so years but mostly long term relationships). I've had plenty of opportunities to do so but even as a man, I don't just sleep with anyone, I prefer to really engage with a person first, get to know them and develop a strong attraction, not just to their looks but to their personality. If you want over a hundred different men a year, just how well will you actually know them? Sex is ALWAYS better with someone you have an intimate bond with and who you've allowed the sexual tension to build with first, give it a try.Pete
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2009): to answer your question-it depends on the guy - most won't though but some would be fine with it (also you don't need to tell everyone)-there's no harm if you truly enjoy what you are doing. are you truly happy?
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (4 April 2009):
 In addition to the substantial risks mentioned by "satindesire," your intended sexual activities would certainly paint you as a slut to most men. You are free to conduct your lifestyle as you please, but the reputation and eventual past you describe would likely limit your future opportunities with a decent, faithful man.
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A
female
reader, taina1980 +, writes (4 April 2009):
the truth is most guys want to know your past but if that person isn't mature to handle it he will be insecure & constantly throw it in your face... I'd be super careful how you approach that... six guys doesn't make you a whore or a bad person, hopefully you used protection each time, I hope...why would you b loose?? I have a hard time trusting that guys can even tell...anyway try working out your vaginal muscle to strengthn it that should help...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2009): i totally disagree with q1605. at that rate you will be known as someone bad and he will know everyone will know what kind of person you are. you are to young for this being sexually adventrous does not mean you have to have sex with everyone you come in contact with that is different from the last one. that is a good way to end up alone and broken hearted when you grow older. what does your mother think about you being this way. i'm sure you need to find a counsler to discuss this with before you make a terrible mistake. No man will want someone who has been with ever guy that they meet. They will not be able to trust you. Think about your future, kids and a husband. we have a lady that is like that where i live and has a reputation that is so bad that no one will even bother her anymore. you are to young for that. please think aboutit before you do anything. if you don't want to for you then do it for your future. once you get a bad reputation it will follow you till you die.
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A
male
reader, DLover  +, writes (4 April 2009):
um... I am really sorry to say this, but if I was religious I'd find that repulsive enough not to mary you. Losing you virginity is not a problem, but having sex with 2 different guy every week kinda rings a bell in me: 'do not get close to that woman, she must have at least 2-3 deadly uncurable disease and may have a psychological problem' (saying what I think right away, not censuring myself: this might help you to anticipate your future husband's feelings).
Also, many guys would consider it 'slutty' for a 18 years old woman to have had over 100 partners (which you will at this rythm).
I might be wrong, just saying what I'm thinking. If this hurts you, I am really sorry.
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