A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a complicated situation I need help with. A few months ago my mom kicked me out and I was living with my boyfriend of 2 years for a month before we broke up. When we broke up I moved in with a friend who was my boyfriends ex-girlfriend(they broke up 3 years before before we started dating). When my friend and my boyfriend were dating I wasn't friends with her and didn't know either of them. My boyfriend treated my friend pretty bad and cheated on her all the time which has resulted in her literally wishing he would die. I'd admit my boyfriend did some pretty bad stuff to me but not as bad as what he did to her. I was living with my friend for about 3 weeks when my ex started texting me and wanting to hang out and get back together I told her none of this. Me and him started dating again but I still live with her and she has no idea but it too hard to keep on lying to her when I'm out with my boyfriend. Basically I have no clue what to do! I love my friend and she means alot to me but I care about my boyfriend more than anything and we've been through so much. My question is how should I tell her that me and my boyfriend are back together without her getting mad and kicking me out?
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (26 December 2010):
 Woah, woah..your friend isn't the boss of you. I'd get out of there fast. I suggest moving in with your boyfriend or start looking through Wanted ads for someone looking for a roommate asap. In the meantime, I would also patch up things with your mother so in case things blow up in your face again and you're left without a roof over your head at least you can go home. Be smart about this.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBasically she found out everything and every single lie but I didnt deny any of it. When she found out she called him and said that if he ever talks to me again shell call the cops and have him arrested for something he did like a year ago which was pretty serious. After she told me she said that to him he was really short with me and now has stopped even responding to my texts. I really don't know what to do because I love him and am really pissed that she did that. Ontop of it all she's been acting like she controls me and telling me if I don't stop talking to him shell have his number blocked from my phone and kick me out
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (12 December 2010):
Few questions: Why did your mother kick you out in the first place? What did you and your boyfriend break up over?
So this ex had treated both you girls like crap..one worse than the other, but yet you go back to him well knowing you're going to get the same treatment? How do you know it's going to work the second time around? I very much doubt he has changed.
Now, if you tell this friend..you risk her kicking you out. However, you don't know if she will or not. Even, if you decide to keep it to yourself she's going to find out eventually. I really don't see where it is her business of knowing, so I wouldn't exactly volunteer the info. He's just not going to be able to come over, you're going to be spending a lot of time over at his place. So why don't you move back in with him? Are you afraid, it might not work out again?
My main concern for you is that you need a permanent home, instead of being this nomad. Don't tell your friend, in the meantime I would patch things up with your mother so you have a place to stay. So if you're friend does find out, and if your boyfriend dumps you again then you'll have a home.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (12 December 2010):
Few questions: Why did your mother kick you out in the first place? What did you and your boyfriend break up over?
So this ex had treated both you girls like crap..one worse than the other, but yet you go back to him well knowing you're going to get the same treatment? How do you know it's going to work the second time around? I very much doubt he has changed.
Now, if you tell this friend..you risk her kicking you out. However, you don't know if she will or not. Even, if you decide to keep it to yourself she's going to find out eventually. I really don't see where it is her business of knowing, so I wouldn't exactly volunteer the info. He's just not going to be able to come over, you're going to be spending a lot of time over at his place. So why don't you move back in with him? Are you afraid, it might not work out again?
My main concern for you is that you need a permanent home, instead of being this nomad. Don't tell your friend, in the meantime I would patch things up with your mother so you have a place to stay. So if you're friend does find out, and if you're boyfriend dumps you again then you'll have a home.
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A
male
reader, Tizzie0612 +, writes (12 December 2010):
 to be honest there is no way around it.Its better to just sit her down and describe the situation.something like ..i really care about you and we been friends for a while. i know how you feel about your ex but me and him are dating again..and i know he did somee messed up things to you. but i also been through it yet i still feel like i care about him a lot.
say something along those lines. I mean the result will only be worse she finds out on her own you know but if your friend cares about you the same way you do her..she will be more understanding of your feelings and proabaly a little upset but most importantly wont kick you out.
Hope all goes well :(
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