A
male
age
36-40,
*ammo41
writes:I believe my girlfriend maybe seeing/interested in someone else…Basically, she added this guy called on facebook bout 2 weeks ago and put on her status tht she is checking out some fit boy on facebook wit her mates and the guy tht was the guy who they were checking out which i was totally fine with. On his facebook it said he was engaged so no probs there. Neway, they wrote quite a bit on each others walls which again i was OK with cos I know what she is like etc... When she was in my room i noticed that they had moved onto private messaging which i was a bit like that's a bit weird bt she just said we're talking bout the crash and she didnt wanna broadcast it so i believed her and a cpl of days ago I just went over to her when she was typing on my laptop and she freaked and went on the defensive and told me not to look... so I was just like "OK, sorry... I wont" and she went on to say that they are talking about my xmas pressie and how I shouldn’t be bothered bout him cos he is 4ft nothing and she doesn’t find half-cast guys attractive etc and I said “I’m not even jealous so you don’t need to explain urself”. Yesterday, just before my Zurich interview I noticed that she had left her facebook logged on and a notification popped up saying he had sent her a private message… Firstly I was going to just frape her and log off but my temptation got the better of me so I looked. The only thing that made me suspicious was her going defensive when she thought I had read something he had said. Neway the conversation was EXTREMELY flirtatious and talks about how she is going to perve on him at micro gaming from across the street (My house) and she mentions that I don’t like their banter because she said that me and her have been rocky recently (which I wasn’t aware of) and that he is “good-looking he he ;-)” He constantly paid her compliments in the message and said that I was a very lucky boy etc… She also gave him her number and arranged to meet up in the sauna at the gym because she doesn’t like being in there on her own… The messages didn’t say nething bout ne xmas present and it was just full of compliments etc…Neway I had already booked a meal so she came round after I had calmed myself down and I made out that someone hd told one of my mates that apparently we were rocky etc so she just said that he had mentioned bout the lack of sex (cos she has a lot going on recently). Neway I wasn’t satisfied to leave it like that so I basically admitted to reading the message and at first she was annoyed that I had read her message and prying on her private life (which is fair enough… I knew what I did was wrong) and then she said she needed half an hr to herself (which is when u saw me). I guessed she was sitting in the park opposite Regent Street so I went over there and she was sitting there talking to her step-mum (who was on my side) but she had calmed down and didn’t seem annoyed at me… just sorry and that nothing is ever going to happen with him… it’s just banter etc etc… I was kinda relieved she took that approach cos I really thought we were over and I like her sooooo much! I have learned to forgive her bt got zero sleep last night and I feel myself worrying all the time and getting images of the pair of them ion the sauna together and I feel like it’s going to pull us apart… It’s all a mess! I am trying but don’t think she is happy nemore. She did say however tht if she want she wudnt be with me and that I am the longest relationship she has ever had etc…Some advice here would be greatly appreciated. x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, 83puremage1  +, writes (12 December 2010):
I personally your girlfriend still has you in her heart but you are fading away slowly. Is good that you notice things are going wrong and the worst thing is she is not being honest to you, which is a serious concern.
Moreover, you should just ask your her what is going wrong between you and him. Therefore, you can solve problems before it is too late.
Anyway good luck
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