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I'm letting her set the pace, but I'm not sure if she's being candid about what she's comfortable with

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 September 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 20 September 2009)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ok, so i have a question and asking for any tips.advice out there. I have been with my GF for almost a year now, and have not done anything sexually, except sometimes it seems like shes rubbing onto me while were makig out(if its sitting shes sit on top of me while my legs are straight ahead of me and ocassionally she pulls really close towards me or puls me towards her). I am a virgin, and i know she is too, but neither of us have done anything sexual with any of our partners. The farthest shes gone is taking my shirt off while making out on my bed. I dont know if she would like to take it any further. If she would, i think the farthest I would go with her as of now was maybe fingering her, but I think she would feel rather uncomfortable with me doing this as it would be her very first time, and so would mine. I am confused, but I am letting her go at her own pace because i dont want it to seem like Im pressuring her into doing this or any sort of sexual things with me. And as I said before, I dont know how far she would be willing to go. Any advice on how to bring it up, Im not uncomfortable talking about it, but i think she might be. I have told her many times if she feels uncomfortable with anything to just let me know, and she has always said she isnt, but i dont know if shes telling me the truth or just saying shes not to hide that she might be. Any advice on how to talk to her about taking it a little further if its ok with her? And also on the other things I talked about. Thanks.

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A female reader, brandyy United States +, writes (20 September 2009):

brandyy agony auntNext time you guys are "getting into it" just ask her and tell her you love her (if you do) and that with whatever her decision is you'll support 100% and wont push it any farther if thats what she wants. it'll make her feel less pressured and understood.

atleast your not pressuring your girlfriend into it like 98% of the male population! your taking it maturely (:

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2009):

im 14 and when i was first fingered it jsut kinda happened. we'd talked about it before we discussed how far we were both prepared to go etc . my boyfriend and i were making out and he asked me if i would like to go to futher but it didnt matter if i didnt etc jsut be sweet understanding etc if you're not mature enough not to talk about it then you're not mature enough to do it in my eyes

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