A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well, I broke up my ex two years ago. We were together for seven years, but he wasn't happy in himself - he wasn't always nice to me in the last few years and quite negative. I felt he didn't love me and I started to emotionally distance myself before splitting up and rushing into a highly passionate relationship in which I never felt trust or security. I broke up with that guy two weeks ago. Last night I was out with some friends and I bumped into my old ex who I haven't seen in two years. He completely ignored me so I called a few hours later and we agreed to meet. The anxiety and insecurity that I've felt for the past two years just disappeared when I met him and we talked into the night at our old house. He even gave me a gift that he picked up at Christmas last because he knew it would be something I love. He gave me the impression that he thinks of me often and clung to me when he hugged me long time.We had a great night but I feel so confused now. He seems to have changed and I don't know how to feel! He regrets how he treated me at the end of our relationship and says he was just angry when I left because he thinks I left him when he needed me most. He was a bit depressive but neither of us knew at the time. What's your views on this?!
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 June 2014):
 Ok, point taken. After all you know him better, so if you say he is a sincere , genuine guy, so be it.
He could still be an " in the moment " person, though, - and I still invite you to wait and see what happens without too many expectations or wishful thinkings.
I invite you again to consider the sequence of the facts :
you bump into each other .
He ignores you totally.
YOU call him up in the middle of the night.
He says: come on over, spur of the moment. You spend " a beautiful night " together , ...whatever this may mean :),...
and , not being a drunken ONS but someone who has been your friend and lover for 8 years , he acts nice and civil and also takes the chance to clear somewhat the air between you and dispell possible hard feelings.
Very nice, ..and then ? ...
You ask how you should feel... I think that , as of now, you should feel exactly like you have spent a beautiful night with an ex . I am not excluding this means MORE, or may become more, but , based on what you write, you do not even have any particular reason to expect it or hope it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2014): Op here... Thanks for responses.. He's not an opportunistic type of person at all. I mean I was with him for 8 years, he's never been anything but genuine with me. He's a dreadful liar and he cannot put on a front to save his life.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (23 June 2014):
While I feel we do not have elements enough to decide firmly that your ex is an opportunist who says what you want to hear, as Sageoldguy implies, still it is a distinct possibility. Particularly if " we had a great night " should mean you spent the night in his bed.
You say : He totally ignored me ,SO I called him up a few hours later . Curious : why, when somebody ignores you, first thing you do is rushing to call him up rather than ignoring him back ?..... Counterintuitive. So this will have given him the hint that you still miss him / feel lonely ,vulnerable and nostalgic and he may have thought to seize the moment , nothing more nothing less.
Also signaled to me, from his inviting you thete and then in the middle of the night , at his place. I feel that someone who meant to rekindle and officially reconnect would have done things a bit more formally, like inviting you out for dinner or drinks.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (22 June 2014):
 He "sounds' like an opportunist who is very astute at picking up signals of disdain from somebody he knows well (you!).....
About that night.... ("...We had a great night..") was there sex involved? If "yes," then the "answer" to your confusion is crystal-clear.... YOU thought that you could put back together that which is broken. HE "got a little" from you....and doesn't believe - for a minute - that he has to be nice to you. ONLY, that he needs to be around at the right time... and YOU will provide him with a little sex.
Aren't we guys easy to understand???
Good luck....
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