A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'd love your opinions (esp. from guy readers) as I'm confused about a new relationship I'm in. I've been seeing a lovely guy from work for a few weeks, having spent a month or so talking to each other before that. He has arranged some really amazing dates for us. He is gorgeous, funny, smart, interesting and single, so it's all good. He's spontaneously told me that he's been hurt in previous relationships and hates cheating. He's also suggested that if things are still going good between us next summer, we could plan a camping trip together. So he's saying lots of good things:)However, I know his friends are players, and he tells me he thinks what they do is wrong. Other people who know him say he is different to his friends, and is a good guy. But, on the other hand, when we end up kissing, he always says do you want to come back to my house, just to cuddle. I'm thinking we wouldn't be able to just cuddle, it would end up with us having sex. Part of me wants that, but the other part of me wonders if that would be rushing things, and whether he's the kind of guy who would leave after getting laid, or if he'd think less of me for sleeping with him after a feew weeks-do you have any tips on how to tell which kind of guy he is?? I've jokingly said to him that I'm still trying to suss him out (i.e., whether he's a player or not), and he told me he's still trying to work me out, too:)I really like him, but I'm just not sure how to work him out, and how long to hold back on having sex with him.Lastly, he's the first person I've dated properly since my ex, who I broke up with 9 months ago after 8 years together when I found out he cheated, so I guess this makes me wary of risking getting hurt again.Any advice would be gratefully received! Thanks. x
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (27 September 2010):
 I say take your time. It may be difficult to stop yourself, but I doubt you'll regret it. Still, you might want to try going back to his place to cuddle. That will give you a good indication of his intentions. I mean, he could actually take you back to his place, put in a movie or something, and sit there and cuddle.
I think you sound like you have the makings for a good relationship. Do your best to think with your head, even when the blood rushes to the other parts. Take it slowly and I doubt you'll regret it!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010): Easy answer here- follow your heart. Only you will know when you are ready in this relationship to have sex. ONLY do it when you are comfortable.. If there are any doubts, don't go for it. Once you are fully ready, go for it. It's that simple. Good luck! He sounds like a good guy to me, if that means anything :)
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