A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been very fortunate in life but i feel that there is something missing which is preventing me from being happy. I never feel happy and am only relatively happy when im drunk. I often jst burst into tears and feel incredibly lonely even when surrounded by people who love me.Do u think the thing stopping me from being happy is depression? I was treated for depression before but was told i was better. Why can`t i just be normal and happy like other people??
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female
reader, AskEve +, writes (3 July 2007):
 I get the impression you've lost your way in life. Maybe you feel you have no goals or ambitions and just feel stuck and in a rut. You see everyone else getting on and you feel "stuck". Have a look at this link about "finding yourself". It offers some great advice and asks you to really take a good hard look at yourself and what you want from life.
http://www.wikihow.com/Find-Yourself
Try not to get too caught up in what everyone else is doing and do things YOU want to do. You're still young and have your whole life ahead of you. Think about what you really want from life and then try your best to focus and make your dreams become a reality. Don't be a follower, be a leader!!!
Eve
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2007): The thing with depression is that it involves a lot of work on challenging yourself on how you think about yourself and the world around you.
In your case you are saying you have self-esteem problems because you use alcohol to feel happy. No anti-depressant will cure that. This kind of unwanted behaviour, and probably others that are similar need to be looked at so that you can find out the reasons for why you have that kind of belief system and feel you need to use alcohol to feel happy, confident, or relaxed. When people work out the reasons for why they act in a certain way, it usually fixes itself.
The most success form of therapy to deal with depression or unwanted behaviour is CBT, cognitive behavioural therapy. This especially in combination with anti-depressants is very successful. Do a search for CBT on Amazon and you'll see plenty of resources for it.
CBT is all about coming to understand why you think in a certain way, and it challenges that thinking and helps you think in new ways.
You need to be aware that there are particular things that you "do" to make yourself depressed, these are:
Rumination (Getting hooked into a repetitive cyclical type of thinking about the past etc), Negative thinking (that you're helpless and worthless, or the world is unsafe), Inactivity (can't be bothered to do anything), social withdrawal (Avoiding seeing people), Procrastination (putting off paying bills, making phone calls), shame (feeling ashamed about your depression), guilt (feeling that your depression is making other people suffer) and hopelessness (thinking that you'll never feel better)
There are specific actions you can take to make sure you don't get stuck doing these things, as it is these that are keeping you depressed. Have a look at a introduction book to CBT, and ask your Doctor about it.
Last don't feel like you are alone in how you are feeling, statistics show that as many as one in two people are estimated to experience depression at some point in their lives. That's a lot of unhappy people, isn't it? The good news is that it is well-recognised and it treatable.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (3 July 2007):
 I was treated for depression and it came back, probably never really went away so it is possible that it has come back again.
Go and see you gp and discuss how you feel with them and see if they can help you again.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, DIE-romantic. +, writes (3 July 2007):
 You probably are depressed. It seems from what you wrote you are. But like Penta said, people could just be putting on a brave face in front of others. Try talking to someone about it, a close friend or a professional couselor. It helps to get things off your chest and you may feel relieved.
Hope ive helped. xxxx :)
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A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (3 July 2007):
 First, please stop comparing your insides to other people's outsides. How do you know that other people are "normal and happy?" It could be that they're just putting a better face on it. If you compare yourself to others you will always give yourself the bad end of the stick.
Yes, it's entirely possible that you're depressed. Depression filters your view so that all you can see are the bad things. If I were you I'd head to a doctor immediately to see whether there's anything that can be done. Sometimes depression is a chemical imbalance that can be solved with anti-depressants.
You may also benefit from talking with a counselor or someone. There are also some great books on techniques for dealing with depression, too, if you can't or don't want to see a counselor.
Don't sit there miserable; get active and try to solve your problem. Good luck hon.
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