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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I'm jealous of my sister.Last year I started college. She's older. She had dropped out of Law School the year before.I'm studying English Education (I'm not from the USA nor UK). I was the best in my class last year. I felt really good because I love english and education, and it's a career I really like.My sister wanted to study Literature, but she couldn't. So she started the English Education Program too, even though she doesn't like education. She doesn't wanna be a teacher. She just needs a degree, and because she knows English it was the most convenient for her.The thing is, she's doing so much better than me! And of course, I can't help but compare myself. I feel like she took something from me, she took my place and it isn't fair! She doesn't want to be a teacher, and I do, yet she is doing better! Professors love her, etc. My parents are so proud. I feel inferior. I talked both to my mom and boyfirend and they both said I was worrying over nonsense, that what does it matter if she does better?Well, it matters to me! I hate being second best to her. That's what I've always been anyway! I'm so jealous of her achievements!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): I completely understand as I was growing up my older sister was pretty much perfect and it bugged me so much, she had the perfect guy, grades, friends, figure etc etc and she was always held up as an example against me, even my friends liked her more!.
But you can't let it take over your life, the way I coped was, and this might sound mean, I concentrated on her flaws, when she got another A* and I got a C I just thought well I'm not the one who fell over her foot yesterday, or when she left for the prom wearing the prettiest dress I've ever seen I just thought at least I'm not the one who has to wear a super air boost padded bra.
It might seen like she has no flaws but trust me, you'll find them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): Please dont, you sound a beautiful and honest person. Learn to love yourself and forget about what the rest say. Respect yourself girl. You are lovely.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): Start loving yourself and stop these negative thoughts. You are a beautiful person but need to build your confidence more. Once you leave home then the pressure will be off, i am sure your parents love you both equally, well they should! Just concentrate on yourself and i am sure you will be fine. I know it is hard right now, but i promise it will get easier in the future.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Wisdom  +, writes (17 April 2008):
 Take time to focus on yourself. It seems to me you are out of line comparing yourself to your sister. She is good at certain things and you are good at certain things..thats the way the world works.... at the end of the day she is your sister... try talking to her her about it.
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male
reader, salvation  +, writes (17 April 2008):
Well why not instead of looking at all her achievements yo look at your own. You have done well in many things but there is always someone better than you. Your mainly jealous cause its your sister you need to just focus on your studies.
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A
female
reader, DizzyGizzy  +, writes (17 April 2008):
Wow, I can relate as I have sisters too. I think it is normal for you to not want to be in your sisters shadow, and it is wonderful that you are so in touch with your feelings. I remember when I was young feeling like I did not have a place. I cannot tell you how many times I would start something and fail, or not finish, only to have one of my sisters succeed at what I began. I spent a large part of my adult life trying to get my parents attention. I eventually realized that I was living my life to prove my worth, rather than enjoying my moments. When I finally stopped caring what they thought, and did my own thing, I got their attention.
Thinking about another's success diminishes your own accomplishments.
My mother said something to me that I never forgot; "You go into to this world alone, and you go out alone", so what other people say and think means nothing in the end. It's what you think and feel that counts. Enjoy the experience and focus on your goals and dreams. Also, trying new things that make you feel good will help build your self esteem and broaden your mind.
It is not easy to be second to a "perfect" person, but remember that everyone has their difficulties, even your sister. For example, your sister left the the law profession. Why? It makes sense that your sister chose the English Education Program since she enjoys Literature.
You tried to express your feelings to your mom and felt dismissed. May I suggest that you try again? Ask your mother to tell you that she thinks that you are special too. My guess is that she will do what most mothers would do- give you a hug, and tell you that you are special, and loved.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): hmmmmm.... Get over it. So your sister is smarter at this one thing. I am sure you are better at other things.
Thats how the world works. Sometimes people are better than we are.
Just concentrate on yourself. If you put as much time into working as you do moaning about your sister things would be fine.
You sound very selfish to me and you need to get over it
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