A
female
age
30-35,
*attie90
writes:hi i need help from the guys(girls can if they want) my boyfriend i think anyway doesnt show enough affection how can i make him show it more. he tells me that i have great sex appeal and that he cant ever take his eyes off of me because he loves how i look he likes that im very different from other girls ok thats good but he still looks at them which makes me mad because its disrespectful to me. i need all the help i can get Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): Its all in the way its done....we all notice attractive people but I think the difference is that most men are totally disrespectful in the way they do it....Its one thing to 'notice' and think that persons attractive ...its quite another to size them up , assessing their features in a lustful way (which many men do).
One only has to look at strip shows to see the difference in men/women....At the male strip show the women are mostly laughing having fun etc and at the female strip show the men are gazing, salivating and often offering money to try and get more ...gross!
Ths s what men do not understand and think women are overreacting to....they think 'oh, when my gf notices an attractive man I dont mind..." but if their gf was looking in the way most men do(we all know that look girls right?)...they sure as hell would care .
A
male
reader, Smiffy  +, writes (17 April 2008):
 And dont females EVER look at blokes??....come on girls its a two way thing....
For me I am very happy with my GF, but that doesnt stop me admiring a good looking woman and vise versa....
Look at the produce....but dont touch....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): Blokes do it, sad fact of life, just let him know you dont like it. You cant poke his eyes out, or can you, haha
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 April 2008):
 Men are wired to look at women ,
otherwise the human race will cease to exist.
If any man says he does not look, then he is being untruthful and a hypocrite.
Looking is O.K as long as he does not commit adultery in his mind.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): Everyone looks at other people and blokes are no exception. It is when the look turns into an ogle that you have to worry. He says lovely things to you, yet it is not enough, maybe he is just one of those guys who doesnt say very much anyway. If he stares then tell him, but just a look isnt to be worried about. My bloke used to ogle until i threatened to twat him, all sorted.
take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): As I walk along the side of with my woman, I find it difficult to keep my eyes only on her, for I may walk into an object if I don't look ahead, and when I look ahead, I'm bound to see attractive people.
If my woman is treating me well, giving me all that I need, both mental and physical intimacy, I will not wander, though from time to time I will look at the scenery.
If she is in front of me, I will be looking at her, but when she is on my side, I will look ahead and I will see others.
If he held you hand, would you feel better about the situation?
Be careful to expect to much of your man's attention, he may feel trapped and caged, not free to be himself. Men have other responsibilities. If he feels he has to always pull you up and it is never enough, he will eventually feel drained, and then will feel he isn't getting much back.
I think both seses have a tendency for low self esteem, the feeling of disconnect with a partner. Communication is important just as space is important to regenerate.
I you insist there is a problem, then there will be a real problem. The old saying "careful what you wish for". Take a back seat and review your relationship and answer honestly, do you feel loved, with the exception of these occasions he looks at others? Do you feel safe and secure? These are questions he can as well ask himself about you.
Just a thought from a guy who has been accused and now feel he hasn't received enough of those personal needs we all have: mental and physical intimacy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): Well, sorry... It's disrespectful if he does it in your presence and it's more like staring than just a quick look, yes, but it's very hard for some men to control it. Plus they get all defensive about it... I think it's because the feel a bit embarassed or because they know you don't like it. However, men look. I don't know if what bohers you is that he does it in front of you, or just the fact that he looks at other girls even when you're not around?If it's the first one, you're right to be mad. However, discuss it calmly, so he won't be able to tell you you're whining. Tell him he has every right to look, just not in your presence. That you want him to focus on YOU when you're together, otherwise you'll go LOOKING for a more appreciative guy.If it's the second, hard as it is, we have to accept it. I have come to terms with it, in a way. I guess there are more important things than looks! Plus if he thinks you're very attractive and sexy, it's even better! (If e were not with you, he'd drool all over himself if he saw you passing by). My bf thinks I'm so hot, so it's a grat self esteem booster! Just think that he picked you out of all the other attractive girls, that makes you the winner, plus you must have a winner personality!Good luck!
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A
female
reader, DizzyGizzy +, writes (17 April 2008):
Can you be more specific? Does he admire other girls when they are in front of him, or is he "checking them out" (all their features). Are his eyes on you most of the time, or is he turning his head and looking to see where the next pretty girl is hidden? Does he smile or flirt?
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