A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What do you do if you're jealous of your best friend. I know I'm not ugly..or horrible looking but I've always had low self esteem, no matter how much make-up, extensions..whatever I put on. She has a perfect relationship, nice body and gets attention. You know she's the average girl that most guys are attracted to-light skin,nice hair,hazel eyes,FLAT STOMACH..etc. Me-Brown skin,extensions,little gut,round bottom, (I guess I have nice eyes). It's like what she has guys see as the ideal girl they'd like to have on their shoulder. And me.. I'm probably just the side girl. She has the perfect boyfriend..they're inlove and all that jazz. And ME- I'm messing around with some guy that has the boyfriend potential but it probably won't happen. It just upsets me sometimes. I just don't know what to do. I always put myself down on this..like why couldn't I be light skin, why couldn't I be the one inlove with a great boyfriend,why couldn't I have the nice hazel eyes..? I know secretly every girl thinks this way but me I'm exposing my thoughts...
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best friend, jealous, self esteem Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2010): Girlfriend i understand how you feel but its not worth it to be jealous of your bestfriend.Lasting relationships are not as a result of how perfect you look on the outward but wats within. some girls with the most beautiful phisique have the most rotten personality and guys wont tolerate this for long. just focus on ur inner beauty and see urself as beautiful. cause if u dont don't expect others to.you need to work on ur self esteem and be comfortable with urself. even though you might think ur friend is perfect,i gaurantee you there are certain qualities she wish she had that you already have. it may be ur smartness,ur personality, ur friendliness,ur talents etc. SO REMEMBER BUILD UP UR SELF WORTH AND CONFIDENCE AND YOU ARE GOOD TO GO.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you soo much, I feel a little bit better. And I totally understand where you're coming from its just those thoughts get the best of me sometimes
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A
female
reader, nadia07  +, writes (29 July 2010):
The root of this problem is low self-esteem and too much comparison of yourself with your best friend. At your age, it is normal to feel self-conscious and insecure, as that is the time most of us, being women, would like to be in love and being loved in return.
My advice is: NEVER, EVER compare yourself with others. That is what my mentor told me. That is because you will end up feeling resentful and ungrateful for everything that God has granted you - the fact that you are normal with two eyes that can see, two ears that can heat etc etc.
What you see is all your best friend's great qualities, but I know for certain that nobody is PERFECT. There will be areas that you will be BETTER than your best friend. Again, you are SPECIAL the way you are, so you don't need to be a clone of your best friend, with hazel eyes etc etc. (Personally, I'd prefer violet eyes myself ;) )
Concentrate on the things that will make you beautiful on the inside. For me, I've seen many average-looking girls who are not physically beautiful end up with all the really nice, good-looking guys. It goes to show that looks isn't the main thing for a lasting relationship, unless the guys are superficial.
So, don't put yourself down. Be proud of who you are. Also, there's no need to put on much makeup, just use makeup to enhance your natural features, rather than change your look drastically. Wish you all the best. :)
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