A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm not usually a jealous person, but this situation has made me see green. I've been married to by wonderful husband for three years, and we started trying for a baby on our honeymoon. No such luck. I've had one miscarriage that I've known about, and it happened last year just before we travelled up the country to attend my husband's brothers wedding. Now, I've got to go to my in-laws for Easter where my husband's new sister-in-law will be. And she's pregnant. I feel so jealous. It's so unfair. She get's a baby, that she probably wasn't even trying for, within a month or so of marriage, and I'm still here, three years in, with no baby. And to boot, it's a girl. She's carrying the first girl to be born into my husband's family for over 90 years. My mother in law is fawning over her and, quite frankly, I'm jealous and sick of it. But I don't know how to face her. Help!
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female
reader, natasia +, writes (8 April 2012):
 Totally normal and justifiable female emotions here. So don't worry. You are 110% part of the female race. We would ALL feel the same as you, I'd bet on it.
The only time I don't bristle when encountering a pregnant woman is when I am pregnant myself. And I am sure a lot of women are the same ... they just either don't know it, or don't acknowledge it, or would never ever ever own up to it.
The ONLY way through is to focus on your own baby. You will have one, I am sure. So get to the doctor. Get checked out. Throw your energies into that. And think how nice it will be when you are expecting your baby. Be generous with the sister in law. You can afford to be. You will get your share. Just focus on that.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (6 April 2012):
 Argh, I know all too well how that feels. Infertility puts you in a dark place and turns you into a person you don't wish to be. You don't understand how it can take other women a matter of months to conceive when you're struggling for years. Why me? That's what we're always asking.
Anyways, it depends on how much you can tolerate. I say go and spend a little time there, but if it makes you too upset or you just can't handle it, then leave early. There's no need to sit there and silently suffer while everyone else is enjoying themselves. Sometimes it's just too exhausting to put on a face and get thru it, especially when it comes to in-laws.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2012): It's not that she "gets" a baby - she's fallen pregnant - and this is a great thing for her! Would you really wish what you're going through on her?
See your doctor etc, but you just have to keep going - you'll get there too! Your baby is just taking her time to come to you, but she'll be worth it when she does! Your job is simply to do all you can to be ready for her when she does choose to come!
In the meantime, send your sister-in-law positive thoughts because, as you know, pregnancies don't always go to plan. Hopefully your beautiful little niece will arrive safe and well and you can enjoy her when she does arrive!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2012): I understand your jealousy. I would be too! But try to put her needs over yours and be happy for your husbands family. I'm sure one day you will have a baby of your own.
On another note...you've been trying for 3 years with no success? I would suggest seeing a doctor to make sure everything is working properly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2012): I'm so sorry to hear of your fertility problems.
First of all I can understand your jealously but remember it's not her or her babies fault that you haven't had a child yet,don't take it out on her & don't let your jealousy turn into resentment or bitterness.
Also don't stress yourself or your husband out over not having a child yet,you don't know what around the corner.
I know that you've most likely already considered all these factors but have you & your husband assessed your diets,alcohol consumption,stress levels & any health issues that could lead to fertility problems?
All the best!
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A
male
reader, punksavage  +, writes (6 April 2012):
 Well you should go to a doctor and see if there is a problem with you and your husband. If the doctor says you both are ok just keep trying the more you try the more likely you are to get pregnant
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