A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so here it is: My friend recently got a boyfriend and she's incredibly wrapped up with him. We used to hang out everyday, but now she's with him. A lot. The thing is i'm incredibly jealous and it's making me depressed. She's never had a boyfriend before and i want to be happy for her, but i can't help feeling jealous. Is there anyway that i can feel less jealous?
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female
reader, lacrymosa_652 +, writes (23 January 2011):
 It's a horrible situation to be in, when your friend gets a boyfriend and suddenly you feel shunted to the side.
Unfortunately, you'll need to accept that your friend needs to spend time with her boyfriend too, and will naturally have less time for friends. However, if she's spending wayyyy more time with him than you, then feel free to bring up the situation with her. Tactfully. Don't bitch at her that she's never around anymore and she never spends any time with you. Just mention that you miss spending time with her and would like to see her a bit more often, whilst reassuring her that you don't expect to have ALL of her time. If she's a good friend she'll listen to you and take your feelings into consideration.
Spend time with your other single friends as well. That might help tackle the jealousy issue? You're not the only one who's single and you don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. There's plenty of perks to being single - one of which is highlighted in this problem: that you don't need to divide time between your boyfriend and your friend.
A
male
reader, oneguy  +, writes (23 January 2011):
Hi,
Yes, there are ways to feel less jealous - there are two things broadly speaking - first, you should find another good friend - this could be tough if you are introverted, so you should go out and make some effort to find one. I will leave it to the agony aunts to help out in this because I myself find it very hard to make friends.
Second, you should list down all the things that can make you happy on your own - yoga, martial arts, painting, singing, writing novels/poems, reading, working, swimming, hiking/trekking, praying, visiting new places, learning a new language, and so on. Create a hobby. It helps a lot to improve yourself and spend time meaningfully.
I've seen that a good friend is basically a gift and a privilege, not a right. I lost my best friend to marriage (hehe) and I'm yet to find a replacement.. I hope you'll get a nice compatible boyfriend soon! :) Nothing beats that! :)
All the best,
Cheers!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2011): I suspect as far as friends are concerned you're putting all your eggs in one basket, as it were.
What you need to do is get out more and make many friends rather than investing all your time and effort in any one person. Soon enough you'll have a boyfriend of your own, and the fact that your friend has a boyfriend will then become totally immaterial to you.
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