A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everybody, so I am a newb in dating. i currently have my first boyfriend. I am feeling jealous and insecure right now. He have this childhood friend who he have known since he was 2 years old, even though I have never asked him if he have ever like her. However,he seem to be very close to her, and would text her and meet her up every now and then. I feel insecure because I have only known him for about 3 years and his childhood friend known him since he was 2 years old. we have only started dating for about 3 months, he is also a newb in dating and Im his first girlfriend. But I still feel really sad. Is it selfish of me to want to be consider more important than his childhood friend? Please tell me what I should do. Thank you
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female
reader, Queen_mermaid  +, writes (10 June 2013):
A friendship like this would make many people feel insecure: your boyfriend has known her far longer than you, he’s physically and verbally affectionate with her.
Perhaps he simply cares for her while being in love with you.Love isn’t something that exists only for one person. It’s possible to care deeply about partners, friends and families at the same time.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2013): I remember reading a study about a bunch of kids who were raised in a commune together. They weren't related, but grew up together. When they came of age, absolutely no couples were formed, because they saw each other as "siblings." It sounds like your BF has a close, sibling like relationship with this girl - after all, if they are so comfortable with each other and have known each other for such a long time, why wouldn't they already be boyfriend and girlfriend already if they're attracted to each other? Obviously your boyfriend is attracted to you and sees something very special in you. It might be good for you to ask if you can become friends with her, too - go out with them together - if you can handle that right now. You can share with him that you feel insecure about their relationship, but if you start being whiny, needy - interrogating him or wanting him to choose between you, that will be the death of the relationship.It's okay if he cares about another female - and it's a good sign that he's a caring guy. There are different types of caring and love - and he obviously chose to have YOU in his life as his girlfriend. Start seeing her as a friend, not a rival. He's with you for a very good reason - he wants YOU.
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