A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I split up with my long term partner because I wasn't sure how I felt and it didn't feel right anymore.I'm in no rush to get into a relationship again but there is a girl who I have an interest in. I think there is a connection between us as I've noticed things such as her staring at me and saying hi but she could be just polite and she has a bf. I'm thinking of dropping in the convo that we split up at some point and leaving it at that.She is part of the reason I left my my relationship. Thank you.Is this the right way to move forward?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 August 2018):
 Honestly I don't think it would be a wise move saying anything to her, she is in a relationship and to be honest that is just really disrespectful to her boyfriend. If she was single then fair enough. I think you should spend some time alone to work out what it is you want. I mean it doesn't sound like you even know this girl all that well.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2018): @auntybimbim - I think it probably started off as me catching her staring at me and has progressed over months until eventually I realised I have a crush on her. This made me realise there were problems in my relationship which I no longer wanted to work on. I tried to avoid this other girl on purpose originally because I had developed a crush and wanted to control my feelings.@wiseowl - honestly I don't know if she is happy in her relationship and would not interfere. All I can do is control my situation and so I left my relationship because I no longer wanted to work on it. I expect that if I find my gf attractive so will many other guys and expect other guys to try with my gf. This is where the trust in the relationship comes in where I expect my significant other to turn them away otherwise they were never really mine.@honeypie - I felt like I could no longer commit to her fully and so I broke up. Because yes she deserves better and it makes me sad because I do care for her but not in love with her anymore. I do not even know if I am making a mistake but it feels right. I am trying to make the best decisions I can of a situation I have never been in before.I am in no rush to be in another relationship, I am not the type to just dive in.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (26 August 2018):
 Would you appreciate someone doing that to your GF if you were happy in a relationship?
You based your breakup partly on a girl saying hi and occasionally looking at you. To be quite honest that’s ridiculous.
Leave that girl and her relationship alone. If she didn’t want to be with her BF she would break up with him whether you had a GF or not.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (26 August 2018):
 You think she is interested in you based on her looking at you and saying "hi"? Wow! If that's all it takes, I could have my pick of 20+ men! To think I never realized that all my life.
I jest of course. Sweetheart, pull yourself together. You may catch her looking at you for any number of reasons, ranging from complete uncontrollable lust to complete disgust to incredulity. As for saying "hi", that is just a natural response to someone you see regularly.
She is in a relationship. If she becomes free, then perhaps you can approach her and let her know you too are free and see if you two can make a go of things. Otherwise, back off before her boyfriend finds out you have designs on his girlfriend, or before she accuses you of stalking her.
There are lots of lovely available young ladies out there. Take a look around and pick one who is not already in a relationship.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (26 August 2018):
 come on mate...really? Why try ruins some poor bastards relationship and try cut another mans lunch? Move on and find someone else who IS single. Your nothing but a predator with that kind of attitude AND if it were you...
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (26 August 2018):
 Move forward towards ………… what?
She might be staring to try and work out why you keep looking at her …. and you "casually" dropping you new status as single and available into the conversation might be just the confirmation she needs that you are a creep, I wonder what you might move forward towards if that's the case.
So, here we are, you are newly single after a long term relationship and the girl that might, in your own words, "could just be polite" has a boyfriend already.
My advise is forget the girl with the boyfriend and take some time to reflect on what was going so wrong in your previous relationship that a girl who says hi was enough to be part of the reason to end it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2018): Why don't you discuss it with her boyfriend? See if he will offer you his blessing and surrender his girlfriend over to you.
I don't know how many times a week I see this thing in posts about people staring. If you stare at me, it's a natural response to stare right-back at you! Nowadays you can't be too careful! People eyeballing your or staring you down may not have good intentions.
I say hi to elderly ladies and random female-strangers all the time. I hope they aren't taking it as a romantic-gesture, flirtation, or prelude to asking for a date!
If you have her boyfriend's blessing; feel free to inform her you're single.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 August 2018):
 You CHOSE to leave your GF in hopes that THIS girl would want to get with you... Wrong reason to dump a girl.
You should NEVER end a relationship because you think the grass is greener... you either "WATER the grass" you are on/with (aka make things work) OR if things are not working, end it for THAT reason... not another girl.
But I guess it's a good move for your now ex-gf. If you rather dare someone else, it IS better to break up with the one you are with.
WITH that said, you don' do ANYTHING. She has a BF and you are FRESH out of a long term relationship.
SLOW down, cowboy!
Take some time to be JUST you.
Can you drop a hint? Sure, but don't rush it and don't be "captain obvious".
If a girl will drop her BF at the drop of a hat (or little hint) how long until she drops YOU for someone else?
And if YOU think it's "fair game" to be chasing after another guy's GF... Would you be OK with some other guy doing that to you? Hmm?
Just take some time to be single.
Saying hi, doesn't mean she wants to date you... neither does staring. She might find you attractive, sure... but in the bigger picture it means very little IF anything.
Chill, cowboy...
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