A
male
age
30-35,
*ahkiti
writes:Ok, so l just told my best friend that l am quote, "interested" in him, but he's completely clueless, and doesn't understand what l'm trying to tell him. l have heard that he's bi, so that's not a problem. l have to be obvious, but not too obvious, suggestions?
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (6 April 2009):
 dont judge his reaction too harsh as his feelings might change with time. remeber to keep an open mind. he is simply shocked at the moment. if someone comes on to you in a very direct fashion it can be emotionally intimidating, and this is more the case for boys who on average are more confused by their emotions and find them less easy to make sense of than girls.
give it time and behave like a friend and it might come back in the way you want
A
male
reader, Vahkiti +, writes (6 April 2009):
Vahkiti is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks all for your advice, l was direct, but he... was spooked. There's no damage that can't be repaired, but it's certainly to be akward from here on... lt was indeed worth a try though, he's nice, l wasn't worried about him agressing, but more of him freaking out, which, judging by the 2 hour bike ride he made a point of letting me know about soon after, he did. Which leads me to my next question to be posted, (l too am socially stupid. XD).
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (5 April 2009):
 If you have heard that he is bi, and it's a *reliable source*, the only way to find out if he likes you is by being very direct.
Try "I am gay and I really like you, not as a friend, as a boyfriend. Could you feel the same way about me? Can we start seeing each other?"
I really don't think being not obvious is going to get you the response that you are looking for, especially if he has other issues. Everyone, gay or straight, occasionally has to stick out their neck and put their heart on the line.
And Everyone that I have known with a similar diagnosis is timid and NOT mean-spirited, so I don't think that if this person rejects you they will be unkind or gossip about it (I don't think that it's in their nature, from what I have seen, if that is your concern). Anyways, Wish you luck, Hun.
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A
male
reader, Vahkiti +, writes (5 April 2009):
Vahkiti is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmaybe, but l neglected to mention that somewhat like myself, he's a little "socialy challenged". I think it's either ADD or Aspergers.
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A
female
reader, ButterflyKisses  +, writes (5 April 2009):
Here is my honest opinion based on the lack of clarification in your question (not your fault, I just don't have enough info to give better advice).You told your best friend that you are interested, and yet, he reacts to this with confusion. I would say that your best friend is not confused, but doesn't know what to do with the information, so he's "playing stupid". I'm not being snarky, but think about it, how hard is it to understand what someone means when they say there are "interested in you"? In a universal phrase, that doesn't need explanation, KWIM? My best advice to you is to figure out why he's "playing stupid". Either he likes you, too, but doesn't know how to proceed, or he doesn't like you and he doesn't know how to tell you.Good luck and best wishes.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (5 April 2009):
Try being blunt. Bi, gay or straight, I'm not sure that subtle works with any guy... LOL!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): He's not clueless and I'm positive he knows what you are talking about. Maybe he doesn't feel the same?
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