A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My ex just said our time together was "nice"and I feel kind of insulted. I felt like replying, "and your love-making, sir, was perfectly adequate," but I'm just not that quick on my feet. Now that I've been downgraded, I can't stop thinking about what I can do so my next relationship is regarded as, at the very least,"really nice."My gut tells me to forget about this throw-away comment, but I could use some help getting my head to follow suit. Any advice for someone who needs to regain a little confidence for her next romantic adventure?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 April 2013):
 yeah you wanted to be told you rocked his world and were the best he ever had and you will be missed.
he's an ex. he only has power if you let him.
and his words are just words and have no bearing on you or your actions or your behavior.
You are of the age to remember M*A*S*H* and Frank Burns... you made me think of him "It's nice to be nice to the nice"
I keep deleting my snarky sarcastic comments on how to regain sexual confidence. Because I fear that is what you are talking about.
other than getting a new hair style, a new makeup technique, taking classes to improve your mind, getting all new clothes etc... I'm not sure how we can help you get over an offhand meaningless remark made by someone so insignificant as to be an EX boyfriend.
I'm betting he broke up with you and guess what, I'm also betting it was not about your lack of skill or prowess in the bedroom....
A
female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (10 April 2013):
 Listen to your gut on this one. He's your EX, for goodness sake! Why in the world would you expect him to be throwing compliments at you?
"Any advice for someone who needs to regain a little confidence for her next romantic adventure?"
I hope you're not here looking for us to tell you how wonderful you probably are. Gaining confidence is an individual journey. Your ex and a bunch of strangers on the internet cannot pump up your self-esteem. Only you can do that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2013): Sorry OP but you sound very egotistical "How dare anyone call me merely "nice" what a fucking insult, I'm queen or the world!". First off he's your ex, who gives a shit what he thought?
Secondly 'nice' is a good term. You need to let go of your ego in terms of how important it is that you be amazing.
'Nice' is a compliment, and it may have been the reality too.
It's not his fault that you have it in your head that you need to be remembered as amazing. Be lucky he's not me and he seems to respect you.
I know how very important it is for women to be considered the best, with your fragile egos, you think just being "nice" is an insult so damning that you wanted to directly insult him back. Well if you were my ex and you acted like this, I'd have no problem in letting you know how very little I think of what we had and seriously OP, we guys are immune to that sexual performance gibe, we were the ones fucking you remember? Oh you faked it? Haha awesome, even better that I didn't give you any pleasure to you while I got mine then, if you're this bitter about things. Seriously I don't know where women get the idea that our sexual performance can be used against us, we don't care unless we're still with you. No guy is stupid enough to take a woman seriously when she uses that as an attack after we've broken up with her. Her opinion on our sexual performance is irrelevant and actually makes the woman look even more of a tool for letting a guy shag them when he was the only one having fun.
Well I hate to break it to you OP, but not everyone is going to think you're the world's best, so why not just get your ego boost elsewhere. So one guy "only" thinks it was nice, he's your ex so why does it matter? Every new guy is a different guy with different feelings and maybe the next guy will drop to his knees and worship you like the queen of the world you want to be.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 April 2013):
 I don't think he was being patronizing or unappreciative. After all, " nice " means ...nice:) good, enjoyable, delectable, positive, all sorts of good stuff , it's not your ex's fault that the word has been so overused, particularly in UK, and applied to all sorts of banal,mundane little things, that it ended up to mean " average " when in fact, it really means " better than average ".
Yeah I know, even better than average is not enough, you wanted to be unforgettable, momentous, life altering ... what woman wouldn't :). But,let's make an effort of being rational , and as objective as possible . if your times together had been overhelming, fantastic, irreplaceable, marvellous etc. ... you'd still be together and you would not be exes, don't you think ?.
I think all he meant, is that it was a period of his life that was good , but, for some reason, at some point it was also appropriate to move on. Which is probably the way you feel too. So I would try to not worry too much about his vocabulary choices.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (10 April 2013):
 HI
I would not take it to heart, some men have the most smallest of brains when it comes to matters of the heart. I doubt he meant it as it sounded, it's a good job you never replyed what you were thinking because it could have started a battle that would have completely lost all confidence you have left. Let it go now and hold your head high. The way you have to look at it is that it's his lose not yours. The next person you meet will see a confident strong minded woman, who lets no petty ex's get in her way.
Mandy x
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