A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Well, Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about a year. I had just ended a 23 year marriage were I was misrable. When we started this relationship she told me that I have a communication problem. I have been trying to work on this problem but she still to this date says Im still the same. She says the only time I communicate is on the phone or in an e-mail. I love her so much but I think she has had enough. lately she has been distant and not really talking. I dont want to lose her but I dont know what to do. I tried to ask her what is wrong and she says "nothing" and goes back to her TV show or the computer. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (13 July 2011):
 Meaning you don't communicate with her in person at all? Are you two in a LDR? Or is it that you don't communicate your feelings face to face, but only in email or the phone? Need more information as to why your girlfriend thinks you're bad with communication. Or did you even ask her why she feels this way?
A
male
reader, Ronnie70  +, writes (13 July 2011):
 For 'communication problem' read 'not as talkative'.
Women seem to be able to talk to their friends on the phone all evening after being with them at the coffee shop all afternoon. They never finish saying all they have to say. Women can talk non-stop because they feel something is missing if no sound is coming forth from their lips.
Men, on the other hand, are quite capable of condensing what they've been thinking about all morning into less than three sentences, and don't feel they have to keep talking; they are able to enjoy male company without saying a word for hours on end. This is why men make better anglers than women. They don't frighten the fish away.
I doubt you'll find a solution to what she perceives to be a problem - short of finding a different woman with a 'male' brain.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2011): 'Not a good communicator' is far too vague and if that's all you have to go on, then I have to agree with the previous assessment. She isn't a very effective communicator either.
You (and we) need specific examples.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2011): It sounds like she's not a good communicator either, if she isn't saying what the real problem is.
Can you give an example of why she thinks you're bad at communicating? I think it'll make it easier to understand the situation. Also, what have you been doing to work on the problem?
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A
female
reader, krustyklown +, writes (13 July 2011):
 It is not about what you say, or how often you ask "whats wrong", you need to *show* her that you love her. Many common ways you can show this, that will make most women happy, are kissing her randomly, making her a meal, taking her out, or just grabbing her hand and smiling at her. She want to know you desire her. Just paying that extra close attention to her and remembering small facts about her life is very important.
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