A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend who I have been on and off for 4 years with, recently got back together with me. He wanted back in. However, I'm finding it hard to be with him because of my own insecurities. He hates make up but I have some acne scars that I'm really insecure about. He thinks I'm too skinny. He hates my blue nail polish and refused to see me because of it. I love him but I'm starting to have doubts purely because I don't feel beautiful around him. He does believe I am pretty though. But he complains as well.Guys and girls.. What do you guys think I should do? And what are your thoughts about being insecure or not feeling 'beautiful' enough when it comes to relationships?
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acne, got back together, insecure Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for all your help! He recently saw me with make-up on and decided that he didn't want to see me straight away. He wanted me to leave asap, as soon as I got into the car. I was about to and then he came running back, saying he was sorry but he hates make-up, which I understand. Thank you for all your help.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Well we all have our own insecurities i guess and if it makes you feel better to wear make up and put on some nail polish then you should do that. However it sounds to me like this man is not healthy for you. I dont doubt that he loves you as am sure that he does but telling you that you are to skinny is just as hurtful as telling someone who is obese that they are to fat. He needs to be a bit more sensitive around you especially if you are an insecure person. As for not wanting to see you because you are wearing blue nail varnish, well that is the most pettiest thing i have ever heard. Why should it bother him if you paint your nails. This is the border line of controlling behaviour on his part so be very careful here.
If you love him then ok yes try and work it out but you both need to sit down and talk about everything. Tell him exactly how you feel tell him you are insecure and that these things help to make you feel good about yourself. If he loved you he would want to see you happy with in yourself and he would respect that. Just be careful that he doesnt start trying to control you by telling you what you can and cannot wear. Goodluck.
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 On and off is never good. It usually just perpetuates a problem. Instead of getting back with someone who things never seem to work out with, why not look for someone who it may work out with better?
Insecurity can be a huge turn off. Especially when it's so severe that no amount of convincing from your partner can change your mind. It's a hopeless battle, and one many of us give up on.
On a side note, the refusing to see you because of nail polish is incredibly juvanile. He should want you to shine in the way you feel confident, not control what you wear. But hey, that's just my take.
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A
female
reader, SpeedyCakey  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 I think you're clingy and he's a douche.
He refused to see you because of your blue nail polish!? What the hell? A boyfriend loves his girlfriend because he likes her personality and demeanor. You shouldn't be trying to feel "pretty" because he shouldn't like you for that, and if he does, then honey you need to dump him. He's not good for you.
I had a boyfriend and I always felt like I could meet up with him in a big white T-shirt and pajama pants and with bed hair, 'cause he never cared and loved me for my personality and not how I looked.
Be confident, don't cover up your acne just because of him. If he complains about it, tell him you simply do not care about them and he shouldn't either.
Good luck!
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