A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HiI’m inexperienced guy when it comes to sex, so can you help me please, with some tips of female orgasms? How do I know if she reaches it or not? What are some signs of female orgasms?What are the best ways to ask a girl?Chances are she will say, she’s fine just to make me feel good, that's why I avoid this question to herAny advice please?
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male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (9 March 2013):
To be honest, during intercourse it's very hard to tell if she's really having an orgasm or are with a good actress. If you are petting or doing oral it is fairly obvious because you can notice her hips moving a bit and if you are lucky she has a kind of spasm, pelvic muscle contractions, and groans and then pushes you away because afterwards she is too sensitive to be touched there. Everyone is different and women seem to orgasm differently during their monthly cycles. Sometimes it's just a good feeling and the thunderbolt that men are used to just doesn't happen. Sometimes nothing happens at all, women aren't wired as simply as men and you shouldn't expect they can orgasm any time. Very important to be be relaxed and open and talk about what feels good - although here's the rub, pun intended, what works one day won't necessarily work the next. One thing that is consistent with most women is that it's not good if the guy has already beaten them to it, so for a young guy the best advice is gentle, patience, and self restraint!! Enjoy.
A
male
reader, Musician  +, writes (9 March 2013):
Haha, if her body freezes all over, you'll know. My girl climaxes like every time, and I don't think she fakes it at all. I've asked her, and she tells me pretty confidently. It's a thing we have - get to orgasm. Might not be the healthiest approach to a relationship, but we pretty much do it all the time. Lots of fun!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2013): This is a difficult subject for men to understand and the female orgasm can be very complex with some women struggling to achieve it themselves without lengthily masterbation.So the chances of another person being able to simulate the same sensations that may take over half an hour for a women could be quite a challenge. You can ask the question but your instinct about her wanting not to disappoint you will likely be correct and she may appease you by telling you that you are doing all the right things at all the right times. My advice would be to have an orgasm ban! Take it to the very basics and take the focus off that being the ultimate success in the bedroom. Maybe if there is less pressure on you both then she will be able to be more honest with you without thinking 'oh it's been 10 minutes I should start to fake it about now before he gets bored' and yes this is common and if you think it isn't then crash a girls sleep over and broach the subject with some of your close female friends :-) !! So make sure your girlfriend knows you have no expectations and instil some confidence in her to tell you what she likes and indeed to tell you if she does struggle with lowering her inhibitions to achieve an orgasm with you. Remember some women can only orgasm through cliteral stimulation and if you can not simulate the same response that she can then it isn't about your talents! It's a far more psychological outcome than it is a physical one! She may be hindered by this inhibition so much so that she may be unable to bring herself to orgasm in front of you...women are very different to men in this respect! So a non judgemental attitude is essential and perhaps turning out the lights to begin with so she feels less self confident? However, not all women are the same and perhaps she is indeed reaching orgasm...you won't know until you talk to her but tread gently; she doesn't want to feel like a she has let you down by not achieving something that isn't within her control x
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A
female
reader, Lautrec +, writes (8 March 2013):
As a woman, I honestly have no clue on when or if I'm climaxing when I'm with a partner. All I know is that sex feels really really good and I'm satisfied afterwards. I don't know how many times or what frequency I actually orgasm and I don't really stress over it. Women definitely experience sex differently from men. Since we don't always have physical evidence of our orgasms and we can climax more than once, we don't always keep tabs on it. I can't say exactly what your girl experiences since everyone's different, but you may not even have an issue here. If she's acting satisfied afterwards, then she probably is satisfied. But again, I can't speak for her or anything.My suggestion is that you open dialogue with her about your sex and promise to be 100% honest with one another and understand to not take any potentially negative feedback personally. Even if she isn't satisfied, there are rarely any sex problems that cannot be solved and let's be honest... Is practicing and "working out (or sometimes in) the kinks" is the best part. You are the only ones that can actually speak for yourselves when it comes to sex. If you're having it, you should be able to talk about it. Tell her that you're concerned that she's not always satisfied and that you're concerned that if you asked her if she is satisfied, she may not be completely honest about it. Chances are that if she's experienced, she may also be able to be honest regarding talks about her own sexuality.So. Um. Yeah. Just talk to her about it and you should be just fine. :)
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