A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone. I have gotten myself into a grave situation. I was one of the suckers that fell for serving my country in the military and I am currently carrying out my enlistment. I am about a year from my end of active obligated service and have ran across something during the time that I have been in.I have to an extent figured out my sexual identity and determined that I am bi. Now, you might say...well, so what's the issue? The issue is that during the time that I have lived in a close proximity to other males I have started to have an attraction to them. Now one thing I would like to put out is that I have a fiance and am about to be married to the most wonderful girl I have ever known and am ready to spend the rest of my life with her. I am not completely deprived of sex, so this really isn't an issue, thus ruling out the possibility that I am in need of sex.But currently in the military, there is a rule implemented called the DaDT (Don't ask don't tell). Don't get me wrong, I am not going to just run around and blab it to ever feller that I run across. But the problem is that I have found myself staring at other men, admiring their figure and have actually had a few cases where I started falling for one. Come to find out that he was in-closet gay. We had a limited relationship for about a month and a half before he got an "Other than honorable" discharge from the military because his myspace clearly stated that he was gay. That and he was caught mid-sex with another man that works in the same department (before our relationship). The other guy basically helped finalize the investigation by running up to a legalman and stated that my friend coerced him into having sex. It pretty much went downhill from there.We were good friends about a year before he confided in me that he was in fact gay. I have talked to my fiance about this and she is perfectly fine that I have had relationships with other men as I came to find out that she was bi as well.After that huge explanation, my question is this...Has anyone ever been in this situation? How have you handled it? I've got a year left and should be fine until it is all over, but I have had problems pulling my gaze away from other men. Nobody has suspected anything yet, but I'm afraid that I am going to slip up at any point of time...
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male
reader, Lost in the Malestom +, writes (12 December 2010):
 This is easy... keep it in your pants until your enlistment is up. Trust me I know how hard it is, but I RETIRED before I did what I wanted to do with those guys I was around. Be careful. Be wise. Finish what you promised the people of the United States you would do, and hope that DADT is overturned!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): RennieGeek
I don't think any of them have noticed me looking at them. When it does become somewhat apparent I always find something to do or simply show no interest. We guys seem to not notice such things as much as females. Especially in the military. Not unless it is excessive of course.
As for my fiance, I completely agree. I love her to death, and I want whats best for her. I am completely happy with her. I just don't want something like getting kicked out for being discovered to hurt us. Trust me, when I say I am trying to hide it...I mean it.
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A
female
reader, RennieGeek +, writes (26 September 2010):
Just so long as you don't admit you're bi or are caught having sexual relations I don't think they can do anything to you for staring. You have a fiance, be happy with her for now, do what you must do to get your year done.
I would try to stop staring just because you may make the other men feel uncomfortable or question and you would never want anyone to feel uncomfortable. Keep your eyes on your feet! :)
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