A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I'm in my late 20s and kinda struggling with idea that ive not had any my firsts', first date, first kiss, first boyfriend, first car, first time, stil virgin etc. I really intended them much sooner in early 20s but things happened, I tried catch up at 18-22, which i did do my first disco/clubs, parties, dinner parties etc. and went out alot to nightclubs, and have loved a few men friends but somthing has always got in the way.i guess im wondering if anyone else has messed it up too in their late 20s?? thanks, Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2011): aww thanks ChaliceODamnation and fellow lady, made me feel more confident and a sense of perspective. Yep, i do know how u feel about 13 year old thing, it is embarrassing and people just dont understand.
The "red flag" lady, I've my own place but I dont have it so I can be used for sex, your reply sounds like I only exist to be used for sex and "if not your a hobo" attitude, and I don't want someone fed up with club scene because their all used up and need fresh meat - that would totally suck all your energy - i want someone happy with life.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2011): You have just described me. I'm in the same situation. It just hasn't happened for me so far. I am so deeply embarrassed about it, it is my dark secret and I am always afraid people are going to ask me about it. I feel so ashamed because of the fact that when it comes to dating and guys, I'm on the level of a 13 year old girl, wondering what kissing feels like. My best friend used to be like me, but a few years ago she finally found a boyfriend and now I have nobody to talk to about this issue any more. I've been in some really uncomfortable situations, because it is assumed that if you are an adult, you have a lot (or at least some) dating experience. Once I was asked to talk about my dating experiences (which I don't have) in front of a group of strangers (in a language class). Imagine that! It felt so bizzarre, how such a private matter can suddenly become so public. I don't want to admit that I have no experience but I also don't like lying.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2011): I think if you work at becoming a little more independent (own car, own place, etc) the rest will develop. Like you, I was a late bloomer in many regards, but if it's romance you're looking for, I have to say it's probably a red flag to many WORTHWHILE potential partners if you're in your late twenties, still living with your parents and not driving.I say worthwhile because there are always men out there who will have sex with anyone as a one-time thing. Obviously, these are not the men you want to attract.The good men in your age group are, by now, beginning to get tired of the party scene. They want stable, mature women they can settle down with, not immature girls they have to babysit. Unfortunately for you, the milestones you've not yet reached in life (and I don't mean sexually, some women still stay virgins till marriage) put you at risk of being lumped into the latter category. Work on your independence first and I do believe the rest will follow. Good luck :)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2011): thanks for the reply; i guess many different things, and kinda got sweeped along in the snowball effect.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2011): I am a Mother of two teen daughters and I would be most happy to find they were your age grouping and still faced with not having many first anything, especially when it comes to sexual intimacy.
I want them to be married for all of those firsts.
I never really understood why people put timelines on things when in reality, we may make life goals within a reasonable time of when we want them attained but in the bigger picture, there is a far greater power with the King of all Kings timeline going on.
So when seen this way, you may in fact be following a timeline that is suited individually for you.
Maybe you have higher than norm standards and values about dating, marriage, family and 'firsts'. Good on you.
Why be a statistic of first STIs, First Unwanted pregnancy, First rushed into marriage, First cheated on, First divorce...
Its a choice how we decide to see things. On my side, I see you being a very fortunate woman that has let her wisdom and inner compass decide when she is truly ready to do whatever, whenever she wants.
You are your normal and I want that normal for my girls.
;)
...............................
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (17 November 2011):
There are more like you out there; check the virginity category ;-)
What exactly "got in the way" of making things happen? If this has dragged on for years there might be some underlying issue that needs to be dealt with. Unfortunately I can't give you proper advice without more background info.
...............................
|
