A
female
age
26-29,
*XSunfireXx
writes:I'm Completely in love with my bestfriend. The problem is he's going out with my friend. I've known him for 2 years and have loved him almost as long. He recently admitted his love to me.Today we made out and he said he loved me and I told him I loved him too (for the first time). I hate the fact that he has to cheat on my friend just to be with me , But I love him to much to give him up.I think about him all day.i really need him to be mine but my friend is soo sensetive and he likes her. I know it probaly sounds like I'm being dramtic but this guy has saved me from suicide and He is soo sweet and caring. He is also my BEST friend.He's moving in with his gf in a week and I wont get to see him very often becuase she is extremly clingy and barely even lets him talk to me.Need help asap?? What to do???
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male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (2 January 2012):
 Give him a choice and say I appreciate what you have done for me, but do you want to be with her or me. It is not about being afraid to move in with. You are moving in with her or you date me. But please, make it clear, whatever your intentions are.Say that and he will say whether he is interested or not.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 March 2011):
 What to do ? ... WAKE UP and see things how they ae and not how you want them to be.
The only reason he is moving with her is because she his making him do it. And, how precisely is she making him ? Is she pointing a gun at him ?..... The only reason why he is moving in with her is because HE wants to do it : maybe in the shape of avoiding confontations/ not taking responsibilities for his actions / not rocking the boat / keeping his cake and eat it too etc.etc. but it all boils down to the fact that he is not obliged to move with her , he chose to do it.
The only sensible thing you can do now is to stay away from this guy who is soooo stringing along until he has clearly and officially broken up with your rival.
And even after, frankly if I were you I'd have tons of misgivings before taking up with him. He is cheating on her with you and she has no idea- in future you could be the clueless one who is being cheated on.
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A
female
reader, xXSunfireXx +, writes (28 March 2011):
xXSunfireXx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUmm I've know this guy for 2 years I know every thing about him. did you not read the part where I said "I'm Completely in love with my bestfriend" ??? He plans on telling his girlfriend very soon and if he doesnt I will tell her myself. I am not immature like you seem to think I am. As for the saving me from suicide I was thinking of it because I was dealing with abuse at home and bullying at school but he talked me out of it and helped me become happy again. Yes he is the perfect guy (in my mind atleast) sure he may have some flaws but I except them. The only reason he is still in the relationship with my friend is because she refuses to let him go and is making him move in with her. My other friend who also knows him thinks we should be together and they shouldnt be.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2011): You are not seeing things objectively. You've created this aura of 'perfection' around some boy who is nothing but. He saved you from suicide apparently? Unlikely, so now he is your hero? Hardly. Why were you even thinking about suicide? Not trying to be condescending, but you are just a teen and it shows. Your critical analysis skills are lacking to say the least. You are not thinking rationally and/or about the consequences of your actions. He is cheating with you on his real out in the open girlfriend. Not only are you allowing him to cheat, you even want it to happen. Are these the values you are going to be living by? You some how think his REAL girlfriend is in your way...when you are the one who represents the little fling on the outside. Pining over someone who is clearly not deserving (yes he is two timing you and your actions say there is really nothing wrong about it). You tell this boy every time you're with him that cheating is okay in your books. Not only can you not see the forest for the trees, you will bring further hardship to yourself by associating feelings for a boy who would cheat with you. Engaging in sexual activity with him would probably be one of the worst things you could do in your state. You're going to wonder how this all could happen to you when he leaves you after you give him what he wants. Don't delude him being nice with what his actions more than prove about him. In the end, your brain has yet to develop sufficiently before being able to deal with the many potential ramifications/consequences of what you are doing. You're seeing the world from a small and skewed little perspective. It is no wonder that the emotional fallout and baggage of failed relationships will mess you up potentially for life as it has done to many boys and girls. Focus on your education and your intellectual abilities. No doubt the boys will come when you are more capable and understand the world and yourself better. That you say he is perfect when he is clearly not should in and of itself tell you that you're thinking at the moment is not all there. Do you think he really loves you as he professes and then kisses you only to go back and do the same to his REAL girlfriend to whom which he is LYING to? Do you somehow think you are more deserving than her? All for a boy who readily cheats on her with you? How is that 'perfect'. He may give you a perfectly good case of some STD or HPV. Inform yourself, don't be a fool. Stupid mistakes at your age can and do have consequences FOR LIFE. Inform yourself about HPV and the potential risks (such as cervical cancer)...and to risk this for what...a boy who is already a cheater?Part of informing yourself and protecting yourself is to wait until you are older, smarter, and wiser and can see things more objectively. Leave adult things for when you are more of an adult.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2011): Umm too young to worry about that. I suggest you move on and find someone else, if he's moving in with her, he's committed to her and at best lying to her and ready to potentially cheat on her with you. Is this really the perfect guy? Good luck.
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