A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in love with someone who is 14 years older than i am and he's married. I can't tear myself away from this guy and it's killing me inside that i feel this way about someone who has a wife and a family and is way passed my age. Yeah I know I might be way over my head here. I've told him how I felt and apparently, he's developed the same feeling for me over the course of our time together. I don't know whether to give up on him or stick around until something happens. The story is...he said his wife is moving somewhere that he refuse to go and I'm not sure to believe his story or think of it as a way to get what his wife isn't giving him. HELP! What to do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (5 October 2007):
 One thing to understand is that although he may want out of his marriage, you were making it easier for him to choose that path. You were probably a catalyst in the equation. If he didn't have someone else on the side, he may have concentrated more on the marriage. As he should.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, Its has been known that the guy wants out of his relatoinship. It was agreed that we will not contact each other, he realized that I didn't deserve what he was doing and respects my wishing for leaving him alone. Thanks for you Advice!
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (4 October 2007):
Sit pat for awhile until you reach the conclusion that you are wasting your time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2007): Walk away nothing but tears will come of this. Please consider his wife and not your own selfish happiness, which wont be happy. If he does care about you then he should not of got involved with you in the first place.
Take care
xx
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (2 October 2007):
You've already made a poor choice by falling into this trap. Even if neither of you began this by intending to be cheaters, that's what you've become. Do not do to others what you would not want done to yourself. Since you know what you're doing is COMPLETELY inappropriate, stop. Put some distance between you and him. It doesn't matte if it's difficult. Starting this mess was the first mistake, realizing it's wrong and continuing is the second mistake. Once you realize you're doing something that is terrible and you continue, you get what you deserve. We can't help how we feel but we can control what we do. In my estimation, the pain you feel is secondary to that of his wife and kids. That is not because you're less important, you are just as valuable as them. In this particular scenario though, they are first. You have to realize that.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (2 October 2007):
 Hi Honey,
Your falling into the same old trap that a lot of girls do. Even in the most remote posibility that he is telling the truth. He is married with a family. And let me tell you that even if you did get together you are heading for a lot of problems.
It will be the hardest thing you do in your life, but walk away. Your dignity is still intact, and you will get over it in time.
Please dont let this man ruin your life.
XX
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