A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been struggling with the right thing to do for years. Four years ago I met a wonderful man, whom I am still with.(not married but we do have a daughter) The problem is I have been in love with someone else all this time. I was honest with him and he knew this. I chose not to be with this other man because he used to be with my sister and they have two children. I did have a relationship with him for a year AFTER he and my sister were separated. The guilt killed me, my sister wouldn't speak to me, my brother hated me and my mother wouldn't speak to me. I have never forgot about him, never stopped loving him, never stopped thinking about him. I am here 6 years later and am still completely in love with him. We enjoy the same things, want the same things out of life, see a lot of things the same way. He is a single father of four children. I recently seen him this summer and now 4 months later he is still all I think about everyday. He told me he is still in love with me and no woman has ever been loved as much as he loves me. it is disheartening. I miss him, love him and think of spending my life with him. My current relationship is not good, and I am not sure how much longer it will last. He is a good man, but I think I already found everything I wanted in one man. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): do what you think is right, screw the others if u love him dont let him slip through your fingers, explain to everyone how you feel, give them time to get use to it.. eventually they will understand. You love him thats all that matters dont let other people stop you from being with the one you love.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did not destroy my sister!! She never loved him, it was a relationship of convenience and she was sleeping with his best friend. My sister has always treated me like crap. ALWAYS I mean cruel and like crap! There is so totally much more to the story on why I shouldn't care about what my mother thinks who beat me, my entire life, called me a bitch from the time I can remember, yet I shouldn't care I do. I am NOT currently having an affair, my boyfriend and I do not co- exhist in the same house. I don't think you choose who you love. I NEVER chased him, his exact words to ME were " I will never stop pursuing you" six years ago and he has stood true to it. He was the FIRST man to come into my life and not abuse me. He just wanted to love me, after being raped by my father, molested by my moms boyfriend excuse me for clinging to a man who completely adores me!! I think this love and friendship I have found, you only find once, I walked away from it to satisfy my family. I am unhappy and have been ever since. SIX years now!!
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (2 December 2009):
 I do agree that you only live once. In your situation, you have a daughter, so your decisions affect her as well. He's a good man.....daughter loves her dad.....stay together and raise her or cause her to be raised in a separated family environment.
If he was abusive or a bad father, it'd be cut and dry. But here, you'll negatively affect her father and the child you both share by going with this other guy. Is this your first child? I'm a single parent, 2 of my children don't live with me, but they visit often and we chat on the phone all the time. Her mom and I work together, no tension between us, and my kids are happy. However, living in the same household, their mom and I don't get along.
Time and time again, as teens now, separated when they were 1 and 3, they remind me of their jealousy with other kids and their friends who get to see mom and dad every day, even though they agree our situation is the healthiest for them. If I had the choice you're faced with now, my kids would have grown with both parents in the same house. This is your decision, think long and hard and consider the long term outcome from whatever decision you make.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009): you had an affair with your sisters man, your family felt betrayed. your ENTIRE family was affected and you destroyed your sister. now you want to destroy your bf/fiance whom you have been with for 4 years. something very wrong here, WITH YOU! you seem to be a sucker for punishment. this man has no morals for wanting you again knowing that you are in a committed relationship. for goodness sake he had 2 kids with your sister. leave him alone. your bf seems too good for you, leave him so that he can find a decent woman to love him for himself instead of someone running after her sisters ex.
you almost destroyed your family one, you will certainly do the same now. think about your sister and her kids feelings, instead of that itch between your legs.
what a sister!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes it is a question! Sorry I didn't make the question clear. I am looking for some advice on what to do.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (2 December 2009):
 Yeah, I don't understand if this is a statement or a question, but you have only one short life here on earth and it should be with someone you really love if at all possible. But beware that if your dream arrangements can be made, it may not be so perfect after all. No relationship is without trials and tribulations.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (2 December 2009):
Is there a question here or are you only making an open statement about how you feel about this other person?
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