A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. We both know we love each other everyday, and I know he means it. However, I tell him things like "I only want to be with you and nobody else. I want to spend the rest of my life with you because I can't be happy with anybody else." I say those things to him because that's really how I feel. But he always tells me that he can't say these things back to me because he would be lying if he did. When he said that, it really hurt me. It's hard to be happy with him knowing that he doesn't love me as much as I love him.I'm sorry but I have a lot of questions to ask.. so here I go:Should I just put on a smile and act happy so that maybe he can start feeling the same way? I'm really confused, and I don't know how I should act aroudn him anymore..He's broken up with me around four times already, but each time, I came back to him and convinced him to stay with me... I know this is bad, but I really feel like we are meant to be, and I couldn't stand the thought of not being with him. He's a really nice guy, but he can act so mean sometimes. When we broke up, he told me that he doesn't love me anymore. He told me that I make him hate his life. He told me that I'm annoying him by the second. I know he doesn't mean these things, but they still really hurt, and I always have the heart to forgive him...I also have another problem with him. I know guys will be guys, but I hate it when he stares at other girls. I mean, he doesn't really stare at them for that long, but he glances at their chest occasionally. Also, he looks up pictures of naked girls and that bothered me too. And lately, he's been talking about breasts a lot. I myself don't have big breasts... they're pretty small, so I feel self conscious about them now since I know he likes them big. Should I let this bother me? Is it a big deal that he looks at other girls or am I just being too paranoid?I'm sorry for the really long question.I just really need to be pointed in the right direction. Any advice will help. Thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009): i dont have any advice to you, but its exactly the same with me. i feel so depressed because i know we love each other very very much, bu if he does, why does he leave me and take me back a second after, or the following day???
he even gives me obvious hints that he is going to ask me the big question soon, but if i ask him, he says no. i feel that we can help each other here....
chantell.
A
female
reader, Summer05 +, writes (2 December 2009):
Oh, honey, I know all about being in love with someone and not being able to imagine your life wihout him, but this guy is honestly not worth you. No, you shouldn't just put a smile on your face and act happy... you actually have to BE happy to be with someone. You don't deserve to be treated in a mean and hurtful way, no man has a right to treat you this way. If he is acting this way right now, hurting you verbally, telling you that you make him hate his life, that you are annoying him and looking openly at pictures on naked girls in front of you, things could only get worse from now on. No man who IS nice, would treat you this way. I know this is not an answer you wanted to get, but I would say, yea, IT IS A BIG DEAL! The man you are involved with should add happiness to your life, make you feel good about yourself, and not self concious. Even though it may seem like the worst tragedy in your life right now, I would honestly advise you to break up with him, he definitely does not deserve you. You are very young and apparently smart and lovely young woman and I am sure you will meet the right guy eventually. Time would heal all woulds, you will be fine. All the best to you!
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (2 December 2009):
 The right direction for you would be to stop and think what you really want, what will make you happy and content.
I cannot believe that you would basically 'beg' a man to take you back after he broke up with you, after he can't express his feelings for you, after he's been mean to you, after he told you that you make him hate his life and after he told you that you annoy him. Don't you have any self value?
You're still very young and I doubt that this will be the guy you end up with. You have a lot of growing up and learning to do.
And the whole breasts issue...if he doesn't like you the way you are, he is not the right guy for you.
You need to be with someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them. You need a guy who shows you that he cares about you and respects you. You're not getting any of that with this guy.
Ask yourself why you need to be with someone who doesn't love you as much as you love them? You will never get that love from him and you will only hurt yourself by trying.
You don't need to dump him or anything like that, but you should stop and think what you really want and then ask yourself if he's giving you that.
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