A
female
age
30-35,
*azed_and_Confsued
writes:I went on a non-date with a good friend of mine from high school, who happens to have a girlfriend who he's been with for quite awhile. Nothing happened between the two of us but the very little that did happen, his girlfriend would not be happy about (no sex, kissing, nothing sexual really). I had feeling for him at one point, he had feelings for me at one point but it never really developed into much. But, the way I felt for him on our non-date is something I just can't get over. We have friends in common, one of whom we're both very close to who explained to me he no longer loves his girlfriend as much as she loves him (which he said before our non-date so I had nothing to do with him feeling that way) and he has regrets about what's happened with us in the past and so on. We talked and we both decided the feelings we once had for each other are coming back. It isn't just lust, infatuation or trying to reminisce over the past, I truly care for this man like no one else but things in our past and his bad childish behavior from high school prevented anything from happening. I really, really like this guy, but, I just don't know how to handle the situation. I don't want to be a home wrecker, but do I just let this guy who I care so much about out of my life because of the situation and bad timing or keep hanging out with him and see where things go, despite the fact that he's taken.
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female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (2 December 2009):
 If you keep hanging out with him while he's with someone else you could get really hurt. Your feelings will grow but you won't be able to act on it knowing he's got a girlfriend.
How long have they been together? Don't pay attention to what he says about her...if he didn't want to be with her he would leave...is he trying to say these things to you so that you take pity on him and perhaps do a few 'things' with him? He could be seeing this as a good opportunity to have some on the side.
As long as he's with someone else leave him alone. He knows that you know about the girlfriend and you hanging out with him and possibly doing something with him is fair game to him...he figures you're willing to even though you know about the gf so it's all cool.
Maybe he is the guy for you...but not right now. Even if he was to break up with her and come to you shortly after I would be very careful.
Whatever you do, don't keep hanging out with him...whatever happens, I guarantee you that you will be the one who gets hurt. As hard as it may be, and I bet it's impossible for you right now, you need to leave him alone.
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