A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've tried getting over my teacher so many times. I've tried getting to know this boy I had a crush on for a few months, but once we went out, there were no sparks. zip. nothing. I think my teacher likes me back, it seems like he has since the day we met. It was like he had a special thing for me. I'm not sure. Well, unfortunately, he's married..has been for the past 1/2 year. A few weeks before school ended, he told me that his wife was pregnant. I admit, I was happy, because of course it would make him happy. I'm just hoping that one day, maybe he'll tell me. It's possible. It's not fair to me, if he keeps flirting with me every time he sees me. It's crazy for me, because i'm looking for a long-term relationship, and there's no way it'll ever work between us. I've been missing him a lot lately. I can't wait until school starts. My teacher is amazing. He makes me feel like I can do anything. Well, sure, because All teachers should have a positive effect on you. He's always there for me, he's helped me through tough times. Usually around a person I like, when I do or say something embarassing, i feel stupid about it afterwards. I have never felt that way when I'm with my teacher.Also, when I do something wrong, he doesn't make me feel bad about it. Even some girls in my school have said that he always looks at me or smiles at me a lot. It's weird, because even some of them thought there was something going between us! Which is of course, absolutely nowhere near the truth. He's not the same with the other girls in my school, it's strange, because he seems to give more attention to me than everyone else. When he's talking about something important to another person, he'll always stop to look at me.Also, this is what happened a few months ago at our softball practice.He was walking away from the bleachers. I'm the manager for the team, and I was sitting there. He said "You're doing an outstanding job of managing, (my name), keep it up!" he said that with a smile and a slightly red face. lol. I just shook my head, kind of embarassed. He looked back at me and said, smiling "I'm serious!" Later on, we (his wife, him and me) walked by another softball game going on in the park. We were talking about as how we get older, we don't care what people think about us. He leaned into me, almost like 3 inches from my face. lol. He whispered to me, "(my name), see that guy, with that hairdo? He probably doesn't care what anybody thinks about him." lol. Then we heard some familiar voices, it was two girls that went my school. One said, "Hey Mr.(his last name), what am I invisible?" He said, "No I didn't see you because I was talking to my manager."Also, heres another thing that happened at practice a few months ago.One time at practice, my friend Jeniffer was looking through my folder and found a picture of Johnny Depp(my favorite actor) My teacher sneaked up behind her, and said "What are you doing?" She said, "We're looking at (my name)'s boyfriend." My teacher gave me a weird look, and I almost thought he was jealous. He asked, (to Jeniffer), "Does she have a picture of him?" He said, "He looks a little old." and he looked at me. I said to him, "He's your age." He looked at me, "My age?" I said, "Almost, you're older by a few months." Then later on, he told Jeniffer to get up and start playing. My teacher said, (to Jeniffer), "You should be playing better than me. I'm an old man....I'm old as pirate guy." and he looked at me. He said, "arrghh I'm a pirate." Then later on, when we were walking back to school, my phone was ringing. It was a number I didn't recognize so I didn't answer it. My teacher asked, "That wasn't pirate guy was it?" I said, "No." He asked me, "Ever see the movie, Edward Scissorhands?" I said "yeah." Sometimes when I'm around him, his face turns red. We look at each other constantly, and he smiles at me a lot. I feel like I can talk to him about anything. It's been this way since Freshman year. One time last year, after a game, I was waiting outside the school for my mom. He waited with me. He said to me, "At least we get to spend some quality time together." and he smiled at me. I'm going into my third year. As you can tell by now, this has gotten a lot tougher to keep a secret about.I don't know for sure if he likes me, but I know I love him, i do a lot. It's just a shame that I can never tell him. Well, I will tell him, only if He tells me.What should I do when I see him again?
View related questions:
crush, flirt, jealous, my teacher, spark Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2010): we have encountered same worries sweetie. well im sure he's interested on you, he likes you and attracted on you even if he's already married it is sad to say that you had no way to react for this even if you for yourself know that he like you. because your his student and his your teacher. all i can say is just to move yourself away from him ro create no more problems just think of it, if same situation happen reversively and you became the wife how you must feel left in home carrying the baby on womb while your husband ( your teacher) is flirting with his student and the same student is also flirting with her teacher surely this will hurt you sweetie. you cant do nothing easy as this:1.just see him as your teacher treat him as proffesional.
2.do not let yourself be carried away by his foolish thoughts for you.
3.as much as possible do not let the two of you be left in the room after class is over.
4.think for the effect first before you make a move.
5.stay away from him after class or even do not let him think also that you like him. and do not show motives.
lastly just study hard and pray to god for you to overcome this problems you are facing. goodluck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007): Well hes married and its not fair on his wife to do anything, if you tell him how you feel and he doesnt feel the same way, you could jeperdise your friendship. Also if he does anything with you he could get fired or even worse put in prison. My advice would be to try and avoid him round school and dont do anything to suggest you have feeling for him x good luck x
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2007): This is a tough situation but pretty common. Over the course of your life you will find yourself attracted to various men, and they will be attracted to you. It's a very exciting and flattering feeling, especially when the attraction is mutual. And yes, sometimes that chemistry occurs between two people who happen to be teacher/student (or any other role that may make the attraction taboo). Chemistry is not something one manufactures, it just happens...so rather than tell you that this scenario is impossible, I'll tell you a very important lesson to learn in life: just because you find yourself attracted to someone doesn't mean you act upon it.
Your intuition is probably correct, this teacher is probably attracted to you - and you would do well to trust that intuition because it will help you once you learn to handle these situations the right way. Now, once you recognize that there is a mutual attraction between you and another person, the right way to handle it is to look at the situation and ask yourself some questions: Is the person available? Is there real potential for a healthy relationship with this person? (i.e. - an open relationship with no reason to hide.) Or could this relationship cause a lot of pain to yourself and others? Are you equals, or does the other person have authority/power over you? Is he a good, decent man? How does he treat those close to him?
So many people want to tell girls to deny their intuition when they sense a teacher is attracted to them, possibly because they are afraid such knowledge will encourage them to pursue him, or get their hopes up, etc. But this doesn't teach a girl how to handle themselves in these situations, it only causes them to deny their instincts and leaves them without the knowledge to handle attraction appropriately. Hopefully this teacher will handle this appropriately, which is to acknowledge to himself there is chemistry, but not to act upon it or give you false hope. If he does not handle it appropriately, then YOU need to handle it appropriately. So great, someone is attracted to you, it's very flattering...but in this situation leave it at that. Anything beyond that only feeds your ego. So what that someone is attracted to you? That will happen lots of times in your life. The trick is to only act upon the ones that will be the best for you. If you can learn that lesson early in life - and here's your chance - then you'll be WAY ahead of the game. Now knowing this man's situation, what would be the ramifications of such a relationship for you? What about others it would affect? Is that the sort of scenario you want to be a part of? Is it really worth it? If you can answer that honestly, then I think you'll be fine.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUncle Trey, it seems as though you know what you're talking about. But if you were actually there when All those things happened, you might think otherwise. Why would his face turn red almost every time he sees me?
Why would he look at me for no reason? We were just standing together, and he looked over at me & smiling, I asked "What?" He said "What?" I said "Why are you looking at me?" he said "Where else am I supossed to look?" I said "everywhere?" He said in a silent tone "everywhere...."
I'll tell you, I haven't given him the slightest clue that I like him. I know I haven't. Me with crushes, i tend to keep myself silent. All i do is just say Hi and give a tiny smile when I see him.
Well, i don't know. I just hope I'll find someone this year to take my mind of him.
...............................
A
male
reader, Uncle Trev  +, writes (25 July 2007):
Wow - what a long question.This guy sounds like a really good teacher. He is praising you and believes in you and is possibly giving you a little more attention than the others. This may be because the others are more confident and are progressing very well virtually unaided like some students in school do. He would also be giving you more attention than others who are probably not interested in the subject matter he is teaching. In short he is helping you as you are probably fairly studious, you may well be strugging a little with his subject and may well need the extra help. As for looking up when a boyfriend was mentioned - well - a boyfriend on the scene or a girlfriend can interrupt a course of study and influence you away from the progress you are probably making here. The word teacher comes from the latin "Te Charum" - which means "to show" or "to enlighten an enquiring mind." As one of his pupils he probably likes you - he probably likes you more than the others in your class. However he is not in love with you - I feel sure about that.As a teacher myself I know that although you are not supposed to have your favourite pupils they do develop a little if they show a keeness for the subject that you teach, or if as a teacher you see them develop a view that agrees very closely with your own. You said yourself that this teacher is happily married and he had even introduced his wife to you. If that isn't telling you that anything else is off limits - then short of telling you to keep away, or saying "I have with you a professional and a platonic relationship as teacher and pupil" then what is? He has more or less warned you off in about the nicest and most subtle way that he could and this is indeed the most admirable way he could have dealt with this.Don't ruin it!!!You have here a good teacher that can help you, that believes in what you can achieve - the best way you could thank him for this is to study your guts out in this subject and get the best result you can for you - not necessarily him.I can understand you losing a bit of your heart to a teacher as outstanding as this - I believe you have confused messages and need to carry out the beliefs this guy has in you.I can only hope that if you like and respect this teacher enough you will NOT try to pursue an amourous relationship with him.I hope this has helped.
...............................
A
male
reader, GreenTea +, writes (25 July 2007):
I didn't read your question. I don't have to.your 16 or 17. He will get fired if he has any kind of a relationship with you. Your welcome to tell him. But he is gonna turn you down. Sorry to give such a not happy answer but its the truth.
...............................
|
