A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in love with my first cousin, and i am absolutely positive of this. Ever since i first laid eyes on her when i was 12 years old i had the biggest crush on her. She is 2 years older than me. i am 21 now and she is 23! as years went by we got closer and closer to eachother and built a very strong friendship. i love every moment i am with her, hell, i am not happy at all without her. We hang out every single day but i dont know how she feels about me. i have never hit on her, made a move, or anything because i am scared of her reaction and i do not want to lose her .. sometimes i feel like she feels the same way about me too but at the same time, maybe she feels like its wrong or disgusting? she does show SOME signs of interest, but not enough. i do not know what to think or do, i wish she felt the same way about me. this is the first time i have ever spoken about this to anybody so just imagine how long this has been stirring inside me... please help
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionahh im in such a shithole. =(
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): A couple of things. If she felt the same way as you and you two began a relationship, how would your family react? You might face some serious backlash from them. It might even cause a serious rift. If you're not sure how it would play out, and if you have a close relationship with either of your parents, you might consider discussing it with them. Of course if your families are very religious you probably know how that one's going to play out already.
Even if the family was OK with it, consider that if you had a messy break up you're still going to be seeing each other at family events for the rest of your lives. That's going to be awkward at best.
I think the concerns about children are less serious. As first cousins, your common ancestor is a grandparent -- the common genes are pretty diluted by the time they got to you. That's really a question for later, of course.
If you can see your way past the first two points, then you're pretty much in the same space as every other guy who's had a serious crush.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): I'm not sure that it's insest, but it is a bit awkward. The gene pool's a bit clustered, so the idea of adoption is probably good (for multiple reasons)... You might also want to move some where where people will not know your cousins.
I belive that this is now legal in nearly all areas (but please check). If it works for the two of you, I'm willing to be open minded on this...
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female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (15 September 2009):
 Ok, so in the spirit of being (very) open minded, I'll say this: First cousin relationships were not as unacceptable in the (distant) past as they are today, and they are not as unacceptable in some cultures today. However, (and this is a big HOWEVER).... if you two do end up together, please DO NOT, and I repeat DO NOT procreate. Adopt.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): just know that its never going to work. shes your first cousin.. i understand if you love her because we all love our family. just remember if you legally cant propose to her it will never work. plus thats insest.
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