A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a straight male and this weekend I made out with my male friend, while we were drunk.I've been sort of wanting to experiment with the same sex, despite not really being attracted to other guys.. and only having a history of dating females. I also always kind of knew subconsciously that I would never Actually do anything with another guy, but then I did this weekend, with the help of some alcohol, and now feel really fucking shitty about it. It's not that I particularly care about the fact that I kissed a dude, but it's more that I can't help but think of how my family would think of me. It's hard to try to carry on like everything's normal, and I'm getting pretty stressed about it all. The only positive thing I can say I got out of the experience, is knowing for sure that I'm completely straight... besides the fact that I knew that already. It's been on my mind constantly, and I don't know how to forget about it, or accept what happened and move on. If you can offer any advice, or similar experiences, I would really appreciate it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): Well you might be bisexual (don't freak out, it doesn't matter). I would just try your best to forget about it, these things happen, more often than you would think, it's no big deal, it's not even a minor deal! You don't have to make any decisions about your sexuality ever, there's no rush at all, just enjoy being the people that you like. There was nothing wrong/weird about kissing that dude, girls do it all the time and it means nothing (double standards) so just try and be happy, I'm sure it will get easier for you, just hang in there pal! :-) good luck!
A
male
reader, yum yum  +, writes (15 September 2009):
 Did you ever put yourself into question that you actually could be Bisexual or Homersexual and are subconjesley struggling with your own fears and misconceptions. Ask yourself why did you kiss this other guy did you feel absolutly no attraction to him what so ever ??. That is a question you should ask yourself. You might be heterosexual but not 100%. My intention of my message is not to label you or judge you but it is meant that you put yourself maybe more into question. Try and forget all what people think about gays and forget the stereotypes, and just listen too your feelings and emotions, that could help you to figure yourself out. If you are sure that you are 100% straight then you will forget about this experience and move on but it will take its time. Take care !.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): I think you have some great advice. You family has ZERO right to your sex life. None... I wouldn't tell any of my family the things that my wife enjoy doing... NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS... You do need to clear the air with your freind, and have a long honest conversation. Only do it when you can have a rational discussion. I'd work in the "the best thing that came of this is that now I know I'll straight". Just be aware that he may have his own best thing, which may be that now he knows he's NOT... be gental with yourself and him. No judgement, only acceptance- he shared something private with you, keep it that way.
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A
female
reader, thisisislove... +, writes (15 September 2009):
it happens..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): I wouldn't tell my family because it sounds like a one-time affair. Some parents (mine for example) have very strong reactions. My mother and step-father would have nothing to do with him until he married years later. If this were a pattern, it would be different. I don't know your parents, but I sense that you love them dearly and don't want to disappoint them.
I believe there is so much in the news about lesbians and gays in this society that it may encourage a bit of experimentation.
Don't sweat it! Move on! I agree with Epic Romance above that you my be laughing about it one day.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): I recommend a thorough discussion with this friend of yours, and I mean thorough. This could be something that is talked about over an hour, a week, a month, etc. I have conversations about unusual circumstances that started last year and are still going on. As long as you remain open and honest and keep everything clear, the situation will wrap itself up. Find a point of agreement with your friend that is comfortable and beneficial to both of your lifestyles. If you need to keep it quiet and he agrees, do so for a bit and see if it helps. If you feel the need to further your investigation of your own feelings, then discuss with other confidants. Bottling up may bring about confusion that will eventually lead to social ineptitude.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): In the grand scheme of mistakes we can make while growing up, this one just doesn't seem all that bad. Nobody died, no one was injured, no underage girl has found herself pregnant. Aside from you and your friend, no one ever even needs to know, unless you choose to tell them.
OK, lesson one is that you've emphatically confirmed that you're straight. Lesson two, you need to be careful around alcohol as stuff can happen that you regret.
Chill.
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A
female
reader, Epic_Romance  +, writes (14 September 2009):
I understand how you feel...I'm female and had a similar experience.Kissed a girl friend, while sober might I add, and then instantly backed off, because I wasn't all that sure I liked it. It took me a while to get over it, but trust me, you do get over it. It may be something you laugh about in years to come!There is nothing wrong with a bit of experimentation! If you don't try it, how will you ever know? I believe it's perfectly normal to try things out at this age. You've tried it now, and now you know...It's girls that you like. As for what your family would think...is it really important that they know? I'm sure they wouldn't think any less of you for it, but if you don't feel like sharing, then don't. It was something you wanted to try...You certainly don't need to repeat the experience with your friend, or with any other guy, if you don't want to.Embrace your experience my friend! Human beings are curious things, and you simply gave into a curiousity. You don't need to feel bad about it. It's helped you work out what your preference is, so that can only be a good thing!Best of luck to you, you'll feel fine in time! :)
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