A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in love with my closest male friend. For about 4 years now i've felt realy realy close to him and for the past year i've been wanting more that his friendship. he knows i like him because one night i got drunk and told him. he told me that he didnt want to risk our friendship by dating. but i dont think it will be hurt. i dont know what to do. i love him to bits and it hurts to only be his friend. my mates all say he likes me back and that we should be together but every time its brought up he says no it would ruin what we do have. i cant cope with the pain anymore. do i stop being his friend? or do i tell him what i want. i dont know anymore please help.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2007): It seems to me you're being much too needy and approval seeking. You can't progress into a romantic relationship by first being friends. It doesn't work that way. How many guys try to do that with you? Be your friend first, kiss up to you in hopes it will lead them to sex? How unattractive is that. Now, I'm not saying that this is what you are doing, since you've been friends for many years you obviously are not. However, I am saying that you need to accept the fact that he is not into you.I'm a guy and I can tell you that I've personally been in this exact situation. I've had a long time friend, who I just wasn't that attracted to, want more from me. I'm a decent guy and I obviously didn't want to hurt the poor girl, so I told her it would hurt our friendship. Same line, same everything.He's just not that into you. Stay friends, but accept his as ONLY a friend. And whatever you do, do NOT try to make him jealous by flirting with his friends. Be mature about the matter.
A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (24 June 2007):
 It's doing more damage to your friendship by not being together. It's always best to date your best friend.
DV1
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (23 June 2007):
 I don't think you should stop being his friend. I do think, however, that you should move on. I bet he knows you very well, and maybe he finds that you two would not work as a couple. I don't think that insisting would do any good.Sometimes people cannot adjust to being "just friends" all the time. So, think hard about yourself if you want to remain his friend.I know this is tough. Keep your spirits up, because this is not rejection. He thinks you're a great person and values you. Now, that's a lot more than what some boyfriends do.
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A
female
reader, myp +, writes (23 June 2007):
 If your willing to take the chance, than go for it. Tell him how you feel, if your in love with a person then you cant just be their friend, and youll both only end up miserable if you try to deny yourselves the affection and companionship that comes with a relationship. You really have to think about wether he feels the same though because if his feelings arent as strong as yours chances are youll be devastated if you get together and then break up. That leaves you feeling lie shit and him feeling guilty for hurting his friend.so think twice, but if the feeling is mutual then what are you wating for?best of luck-Myeshamessage me if you want to talk =)
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