A
female
age
30-35,
*amasaidknockyouout
writes:I'm in love with my best friend. he's a pothead and I believe he's becoming an alcoholic. he's had a rough life. his mom just committed suicide last year and he found her and its just tragic. basically, I just want him to be happy. he can really be a sweetheart. but lately he's been reallllly into drinks and drugs and has been making up stuff for me to give him money and I give it to him. its like I know he's using me for my money know but I'm in love with how he used to treat me. and I give him money to make him happy. for him to get drugs that make him happy. but recently, I don't like it. I'm not one to manipulate and tell someone what to do, but he's getting really bad. like betraying me and his littler brother. idk what to do. I want to get him help but idk where to start. he won't listen to me but I don't want him to know I'm getting him help. should I get him help? and if I do, who should I tell?
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (15 October 2008):
 I would like to add that also I have encountered countless numbers of others who have drug or alcohol addictions. Drugs like alcohol can lead to danger in the same abusive or neglectful behaviors. I know how deceptive they can be just to obtain the object of their addiction. Many become overly agressive and even combative. I have had many personal relationships (friends and others) who have had these problems and it is really hard to get them help sometimes since they must want it for themselves. Letting someone else(someone is willing and capable)in on what's really going on could be the best thing for you and your friend.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (15 October 2008):
I do understand. I am the child of an alcoholic parent.(deceased)I also have been in a few serious relationships with alcoholic boyfriends. I know how mean and hurtful things can become. Sometimes they vent themselves by being verbally abusive or even phycially not to mention the mental aspect of the disease. It can be quiet hard to understand or deal with.I really suggest that if things have gotten this far that you don't want and seek out the help of a trusted adult. You can perhaps talk to your parents, or his. You can also turn to a pastor or guidence conselor at school who can direct you in what to do. Please be careful of the friend because sometimes they can become quite violent endangering themselves by doing physical harm or to you if even by accident. You are not old enough to take on this alone. It is a natural thing to want to help someone if you are a caring person. When it's a close friend it pulls you in sometimes too close, making it hard to take the steps necessary to speak up. When you let someone know who has the necessary knowledge to help sometimes it can save the friend from a lifetime of disaster or even DEATH.Pray for your friend and seek the necessary help before things get worse. Addictions are even worse the longer one is addicted. Your first step in getting you friend help was when you posted here. I hope that you can see your friend thru this with God's Grace.God bless,Blue_Angel^(**)^
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A
female
reader, mamasaidknockyouout +, writes (15 October 2008):
mamasaidknockyouout is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyah he's 17. he lies to me and his little brother and he steals from his dad and his other friends. I've tried talking to him but he doesn't listen because he says it makes him happy. but I'm really concerned about him because he can get really mad and say messed up things. and its just a mess.
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (15 October 2008):
I am sorry to hear about your friend. Please remember that you can only change yourself and you can't make someone stop. However if you are a friend sometimes you do have influence over a person. All you can do is try to talk to them about this and pray that you get thru to them.
I will say that people become alcoholics for many reasons. You did mention that he has had a rough life so perhaps this is the main cause. It is sad that he doesn't care about himself more than this. I can see you care. You must stop enabling him. If he is in need of food or something like that simply buy it for him. Tell him you love him and you will not give him money for drugs and alcohol.
If he getting really bad with drugs and alcohol then he could really cause more danger to himself that you may realize and he could wind up putting you in danger. Often people with these addictions will steal from you or take you into places that aren't the safest. They could also get caught with possession of either and if you are there you could wind up in jail. Please seek help from a trusted adult. You didn't give his age but if it's close to yours, being addicted at such an early age can cause many complications. Please seek the help of a trusted adult. Now is the time for intervention before it becomes too late.
Best wishes to you and your friend. I hope he gets the help he needs.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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