A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is going to sound so cliche, but I have to know what exactly it is I'm supposed to do here. I'm 31 and I have a two year old daughter with my best friend whom happens to be a guy I've known for about twenty years. This guy and I are not married. We're not even dating and our daughter came about during a drunken night, the night an ex and I broke up. I love this man I had a child with. I'm in love with him. And I know he loves me, too. I just don't know why we're not dating or even married. How should I go about this?
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male
reader, ISOHaven +, writes (6 March 2009):
I'm not sure why you're questioning your love based on dating or marriage. Don't people fall in love BEFORE marriage anyway?
You knew this guy for 20 years! My guess is you know a lot about him. More then other people when they fall in love.
Your situation is perfectly normal. You love this man. The real question here is what are you going to do about it? Which you asked.
Like neffnie said, talk to him. Do you want a relationship with him? I'm surprised it took this long! 20 years is a long time. Most marriages don't last that long. If you want to pursue a relationship with this man then find out what he wants. From here I would just be quoting neffnie.
A
female
reader, neffnie +, writes (6 March 2009):
 Have you tried talking to him about it? The best thing to do is to tell him how you feel and openly discuss how he feels about you. If the feeling is mutual then you go from there and build on that. If it is not then you have to find a way to both be there for your child. Falling in love with your best friend can be scary and tricky. You dont want to lose them from your life if the feeling isn't mutual. If it is this can be the best relationship ever. They already know you and accept you for who you are!! Good luck!!
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