A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm dating a 25 year old man and i'm 17. I am in love with him, but secretly i don't want to be with him forever, because i have future plans that he can't be in. He has a beautiful daughter who I love and see as my own, and i truly don't want to hurt her or him. Should i end it now before we get too serious? Or should I stay with him as long as i want him and break up with him when i need to leave. Please help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 April 2008):
 You can plan as much as you want but whether your plans will
be carried out in the near future, nobody knows.
You could change course half way through your life.
If you like him and his daughter now , there is no reason to break off this relationship.
You can still continue to be friends with him and his daughter.
If you one day feel that you have to leave, then there is nothing to be done about it.
Live for today.
A
male
reader, Smiffy  +, writes (13 April 2008):
 I think you need to tell us what your plans are to enable the "aunts" to give a more constructive opinion...
But I agree with the posts already here....if what you are planning doesnt include your BF or his daughter why carry on??...it will only make it worse for all
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A
female
reader, BigSis  +, writes (13 April 2008):
 Rcn is right you know. If you're sure you have no future with guy like you say, then I suggest you finish with him, now.
His little girl will grow more and more attached to you and there will be a little broken heart as well as her father's. He'll have to not only deal with you leaving them but also try and console his daughter.
Don't string him along.
I really can't understand how you can say your in love with him ~ yet you've planned ahead without them.
Think carefully about how you intend to deal with this situation and I hope that he and his little girl don't get too hurt.
Best of luck.
BigSis x
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (13 April 2008):
 and what are these future plans?
it's not proper to keep someone lingering. he has a child to think about. i know when i had a child, there was no more room for dating games. the child and their emotional well being comes first. make your decision. i don't know what plans would exclude someone, unless you're joining a convent.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008): Hi,
I think you need to seriously ask yourself if you really love him. Because if it were really love than you would make room for him in your plans. I think you are just scared to let go and he is a crutch right now. I am not judging you because I am having the same problem right now. I say i love him but don't see us having a future together. I am afraid to let go. I'm working through this but It's not really fair to him.
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