A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is long, but please, I need help. To put it simply, I found out yesterday that my boyfriend of 3 years is a pathological liar. He lied to me by telling me he had a tumor on the roof of his mouth and it was cancer, then he got surgery and it was removed (now I realize that obviously there was no surgery recovery of any kind, or stitches etc.) He lied to me by telling me 8 of his friends died in a car crash in NYC, that his parents kicked him out of the house and he was living in Central Park for weeks on his own, selling drugs to get food (I just found out from his parents that he indeed ran away, but only to the apartment across the hall). He doesn't just lie to me, he does it to everyone. The twist to this story is that he is unhealthily obsessed with me. Even though he is a natural leader and the "big man on campus," he decides to isolates himself most of the time just to talk to me, tries to control me and check up on me, but I believe this is something he can't control and is linked to his illness. He has Attention Deficit Disorder, and goes to a specific boarding school for that. But the one thing I know for certain is that he has this undying love for me that all of his friends can see. He truly cares for me and takes care of me to the best of his ability. All of his friends tell me that he doesn't even glance in the direction of another girl. I told him that he needs therapy, and he said he was willing to do that as soon as possible. What do I do? If he goes to therapy and I'm with him, I think that he will be able to change with my support. On the other hand, what do I do in terms of our relationship while he is on the road to recovery? Thank you so much for reading, it means a lot to me.
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female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (24 May 2008):
 Just be there as ba mate. You cant change him, only he can. You could be storing a whole lot of trouble up for yourself getting involved with someone that is a pathalogical liar. Then, when he shows he's healed, see where it goes. Best of all worlds ey.
Good luck.
C xxxx
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