A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was going through old boxes to pack up and move into our new house, when I came upon some letters that I had written to my husband 3 years ago when he was in jail. We just got married last year, 2007. Please do not judge him for the jail time, this is not a crime against me, nor a violent one, and as soon as he got out after a 6 month stint, he straightened up and has been a wonderful man ever since.Anyhow, I read through all of them, but to my surprise I found letters from some girl he used to hang out with who he had claimed was just a friend, and even went to lengths of saying "Come on, look at her! I don't want her!". He had ceased communication with her several months before he was in jail (we left the country.). Most of the letters were benign. I actually laughed at some, because she seemed very lonely and desperate to steal my boyfriend. However there were two I cannot shake. I'll quote:"So you like the way I s**ked your d**k? I doubt I'm a good f**k...I hate being on top, most guys don't like that."^This seems to me to be a reply to something he wrote to her. Opinions?"...when I first met you. I wanted to f**k you so bad, and then we did..."WHAT THE HELL!I'm coming up on my 1 year wedding anniversary to a guy I've been with since I was 17, I've been totally faithful. Is it wrong that I expected the same!?!?!?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI decided it was a big enough deal to me to call him at work about it, shortly after I posted this. Understandably he didn't want to discuss it in detail at work.When he came home, he had a card and a pot of mini-roses. I don't have the card at the moment because I'm at work, but it basically said that he loves me and he wishes he had never done anything to cause hurt or doubt.He told me this girl was crazy, his evidence of this was that she looked him up and found his jail address when she hadn't had contact with him for at least 6 months beforehand. I showed him the two specific letters I mentioned in here, to which I didn't get any answers I believe. He said that the only reason he was writing her back was to "look hard" in front of the other inmates...to gain respect and thusly avoid physical beatdowns. His answer to why she would write such things is that he "had one of the other guys writing back to her, maybe he wrote something like that." Which to me, is complete b.s., why would she reply like that to something that had never happened.It bothers me that he won't fess up, but I do know that he is a completely different person than he once was, and so am I. I put up with a lot of crap before that I wouldn't now. Even if I had found out when it was occurring (and yes, he was with me already when he met this girl, we've been together for almost 8 years.) I don't know that I would have been strong enough to leave him.I just wish he'd come clean, but he swears on everything up and down that he didn't do it.
A
female
reader, bday121 +, writes (24 May 2008):
 Whoa! You definitely need to ask your husband about that stuff! If he's been unfaithful you derserve to know. Those letters are pretty clear, how could he possibly explain that away? Keep asking him about those letters until you get the truth!
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