A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi all. Plz help. I.ve got deeply involved with a criminal who also has loads of baggage. 4 kids,dodgy dealings etc.it started out as a bit of fun,and to give him credit,he did mention what he did,and is saying he,s putting the money into a legal business which he,s started.,and wants to stop the other stuff next year when it,s up and running. I,ve become very attached to him,and know i have to leave him,as there is no future with all the stuff going on. It,s chaos,as he,s always here and there doing stuff,and my nerves are in shreds ,euen though he does,nt involve me. He got arrested yesterday,and had to pay a fine. My mum is going nuts telling me to leave him now before i get even more involved and hurt,bv when i try, i can,t,as i now love him,but know i have to leave. The more i see him,the more i love him. He makes me feel special. He,s divorced,but i.m obsessed with the fact he still sees her when he gets the kids,and am sick with jealousy over her,and his exes. what to do? Leave now while i can? Or give him a chance? Mum says he,s not good enough for me. X
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (17 July 2011):
 You have feelings for him, but he does not really make you happy! He makes you feel WANTED.
Happy and joyful are missing.
Keep in mind that if you are linked in relationship to this person, you could get sucked into all his drama, consequences and legal woes.
Are the feelings worth that? Put the positives and negatives on opposite sides of the scale. What wins?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiontisha. You are right. I need to ask myself that question.and yes will get mum and freinds to support. My life feels a bit trapped with him in a funny way. Like i.m living in limbo. Got to get out and get busy asap. Thanx. X
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 July 2011):
 If your nerves are in shreds, why not simply stop seeing him and don't call him back? Tell your friends you need distracting and ask your mum for support too. If you know it's bad news why stick around and make it worse?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi all.thanx for your ansa,s. I just fell for him,and didn,t expect too. I had the whole thing in its rightful place a few months bk. Eg. Sex, fun, nights out,then we had a wonderful day out a few wks bk,and it changed. Unfortunatley. I look young for my age,and probably act it,so it,s no surprise,but i got attached. I have feelings for him. Stupid as it is,he makes me feel feminine,and special. Yes,i should feel like that anyway,but he has triggered some kind of confidence in me. I can.t explain. But i.m more confident at wk,and with my hobbies. I.m a singer,and am singing better than ever since i met him. I feel sexy,and desired. Maybe this has nothing to do with him,but it seems an odd coincdence? I know i have to leave... But when,and how?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 July 2011):
"He makes me feel special." That's where you should start. Why do you feel ordinary without him? Why do you feel so low about yourself that you have invited this drama and this guy into your life?
Figure out why you have such low self-esteem and go from there. Maybe you don't feel you deserve a great guy? Maybe you feel so low about yourself that you have found a guy that validates your low self-worth.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (17 July 2011):
 Show me one reason why you want to be with him. He's a CRIMINAL, for heaven's sake!! Do you even realize what you're stepping into? What kind of a life are you even looking at, with this shady guy, who's getting arrested, who has shifty dealings, and who you have possibly no future with?
Imagine the hell that you're putting your mom through! I mean, come on,no offence, but looking at the age bracket that you're in, this behaviour is very unexpected. This is something that one expects out of a giddy teenager. Pull yourself up, get out of this mess.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (17 July 2011):
 Your mom is right. Just imagine how long it's going to be before he starts trying to involve you or tries to get you to pay his bail the next time he's in jail. Do you really want to be with a criminal? He's not going to stop being a criminal when the legal business is started. So walk away before you get any closer to him emotionally. And as for his exes, they have kids with him. They have children together, so they can't help communicating. So learn to deal with it if you're going to be with this guy. But you shouldn't.
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