A
female
age
30-35,
*aydreamer124
writes: hi, my name is Isabella. I'm between 16 and 19 and the guy I have a secret relationship with is between 20 and 23. So, we were good friends for a couple of years, having long conversations and enjoying each other's company. Then, we started meeting up late at night just to talk. We would talk for hours, and I really liked him as a friend. Then, this past summer, something changed. One night we were cuddling, a couple weeks after, we almost went all the way, but I stopped him. I'm still a virgin. We hooked up a few times after that (3rd base), but recently, I almost got close to losing it again. I don't know what to do or how he feels about me. He told me what he though before, and it's exactly what I thought too: that I'm strangely attracted to him, that I miss him so much, that we like hooking up and still be good friends. I'm scared that I'm falling for him. I like him so much, we were and are really good friends, it's just that we are romantic/sexual too. I guess people would call it friends with benifits, but we are closer than that. He asked me what I wanted to be, but I never was a girlfriend before and yet, that's the type of boyfriend I would want, someone I'm friends with too. The age differance is making things difficult. Everyone tells me I'm mature for my age, but he could still get in trouble. I'm still deciding whether to keep my virginity or not, and he said it might be better to lose it to a friend cuz they never leave but he also said if I didn't want to lose it to him, he was ok with that, we would still be together. How do I know if I really like him? I think I'm scared to find out if I do like him because I don't want to get hurt.
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reader, daydreamer124 +, writes (9 December 2008):
daydreamer124 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI didn't log on to this site in a while, and i kinda feel bad for not responding to the helpful advices.
After reading them over, I realized that this relatoinship isn't really promising. And after reading what I wrote, it sounded as if I was desperatly trying to make it sound not as bad as it is. Maybe it's lust, maybe it's not. But all I know is that I do care about him. He really is one of my best friends.
Maybe I'm going through a stupid teenage faze (God that sounds corney!), and liking this excitment too much. You know? Doing things secretly and getting away with it? and, Having something you usually can't have? and I guess just sex in general.
(sigh) i can't figure myself out. But either way, when i'm older things will turn out the way they are suppose to. I still want to stay a virgin for a little while longer, and I don't want to loose it to someone I have to keep a secret with.
So i guess, move on with my life, figure myself out, and maybe, if it's meant to be, we'll be with eachother in the future.
BUT IT'S HARD!. He moved closer to me. He used to live an hour away, but now he lives 15 minutes away. And i see him more often. I see him probably every 3 days. What am I suppose to do with all these thoughts and feelings and yearnings?!? What shuold i do if we start doing the same thing we did before?
A
female
reader, blackroses2989 +, writes (7 November 2008):
 Hi darlin!!! That does sound kind of complex, however I know where you are coming from. The first thing I would worry about is your age, it has nothing to do with maturity, to me its just a number. However to most its more than a number and if you do get caught he could go to jail. I assuming he would only get an 18 mo sentence, but that would be a minimum sentence. Just be very careful. But as far as your friendship goes, if you are having feelings toward him, you really should make it offical. Try to wait until/ if you date and become bf/gf. It makes things a lot easier. While I doubt he's just trying ot get some ass, realize that friends can leave just as well as bfs can. I know you don't want to get hurt, especially by him and you may not. Eventually though that could be a harsh reality. First loves sometimes dont last forever and getting hurt is just another part of growing up/having relationships. While it does hurt at first, it gets better with time. I can only hope this helped, but in the end you have to make the right decision for yourself. Good luck sweetie! 3 kisses, hugs, and cookies ~blackroses2989~
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A
female
reader, blackroses2989 +, writes (7 November 2008):
Hi darlin!!! That does sound kind of complex, however I know where you are coming from. The first thing I would worry about is your age, it has nothing to do with maturity, to me its just a number. However to most its more than a number and if you do get caught he could go to jail. I assuming he would only get an 18 mo sentence, but that would be a minimum sentence. Just be very careful. But as far as your friendship goes, if you are having feelings toward him, you really should make it offical. Try to wait until/ if you date and become bf/gf. It makes things alot easier. While I doubt he's just trying ot get some ass, realize that friends can leave just as well as bfs can. I know you don't want to get hurt, especially by him and you may not. Eventually though that could be a harsh reality. First loves sometimes dont last forever and getting hurt is just another part of growing up/having relationships. While it does hurt at first, it gets better with time. I can only hope this helped, but in the end you have ot make the right decision for yourself. Good luck sweetie! 3 kisses, hugs, and cookies ~blackroses2989~
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