A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently joined a site called fling.com.I am a very busy person with tons of responsibilities and of course like most women I have complex about my looks. Sometimes I feel unattractive and other times I feel good. Anyways, my sex life hasn't been all that much of late. It's been about a year since I've done the dirty and I'm getting hornier by each day. I want to have sex and if a guy in real life showed interest and I'm interested also then usually I'm game but I don't have the time to invest in finding a guy. The few times that I do go out, I go out to enjoy myself and not worry about anything and that includes finding a guy. I just want to have plain, unadulterated fun. So I got this idea to do an online thing and I've started several profiles on a few sites but never followed through with any seriousness. Today, however, I did build a profile on fling.com and built my profile but I have this overwhelming feeling of sleaziness. I feel like a pervert. In my mind it's completely okay to have a one night stand with a guy I meet at a club but to hook up with someone over the web... seems to be a low place. I want to get laid and I want to do it in a straight forward manner, which these sites offer. However, how do I get over this feeling of being scum?? I'm not religious, I was never one to follow what society dictates.... I don't know why this is bothering me. A half of me wants to pursue and the other half doesn't want to.
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one night stand, sex life Reply to this Question
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male
reader, coolvibe  +, writes (6 November 2008):
You are subconsciously reacting to outdated stereotypes. Even though in your head it makes sense. A common conception is internet meeting/dating is for people who can not find partners elsewhere whereas in this day and age this is often not the case. I feel exactly the same, having created a couple of profiles I can not go through with it.. I guess its just getting more comfortable in an unknown arena. Where are you from?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008): hey guys, i didnt mean i wanted to have one night stands with men i met on the internet. i didn't articulate it well but i want to find a friend with benefits. a steady person to meet my intimate needs.
either way, i ended up closing my account b.c i couldn't shake the feeling of sleaziness. the way some members approach you, with disgusting photos and rude forwardness...it's not my thing. i have no ethical issues with casual sex but if any guy approachs me like that in real life, i'd have to hit him so i didn't see the point of tolerating it on the web. also as luck would have it i found a very good and decent candidate on that site and so far so good.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): Everyone seems to be meeting via the internet these days. What's wrong with it? Just be careful though to check out people somewhere safe in case they are sleazy, dangerous etc.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (5 November 2008):
 In my opinion, the Internet is a reasonable way to connect overall - for relationships, jobs, products, games, communication and more. Over the past 10 years, I have met with numerous women online for both sex and friendships which endure, although "we" have agreed that the mix could probably not be lifelong. In my case, at 61 years of age, I'm no longer seeking a mate for life. Though imperfect, all the relationships have been quite enjoyable, mutually satisfying and memorable. Most of us at least stay in touch or continue our friendship. We become caring as well. What can be wrong with that?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): if you want a one-night stand, by all means pursue one...but know that at some point in your life you will probably come to regret it. please be careful
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A
female
reader, Gem86 +, writes (5 November 2008):
 Hey, I dont think youre sleasy at all. If you dont want a bf then fine- who says you need one?! I just think that you should be very careful as these guys could literally be ANYONE, so if youre going to have one night stands through the internet make sure you are safe. If youre having reservations there may be reasons. Stay safe :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): Well having a one night stand with a guy is sleezy but I think you need to actually get a boyfriend if you want one and maybe take some time to get serious with someone instead of going to clubs or online dating..
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