A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Would really love some advice. I'm approaching 32 and feeling my life isn't going anyway and should give up. I also am do jealous of my best friend who is 3 years younger then me and suddenly has the perfect life. I'm female, average looking and slightly overweight. I live in London and have a job started 6 months ago in sales that hate. i am trying to get another job back in marketing which Is what I did for 6 years perving before being made redundant but it's proving impossible. I make shocking money I think I earn what my 19 year old cousin is on. So that's work! I live in nice house share. But in the tiny box room! Though the flat is nice. But at 32 I think shouldn't I be living in my own place, shouldn't I own a place! What's wrong with me! So that house! I am single. As I never seem to meet man. Recently I did - he was lovely. Went on few dates etc, he turned around and said not interested in me like that - not compatible! I have not heard from him since. also find it hard to meet guys. Yes I go out with friend's and live in London, but one I look very young for my age (about 21 I am told) and it is true as I have a genetic disorder which means I'm 4f 11" and have baby face. So men don't go for me. Not unless they are late teens themselves and then also when I tell guys my age 31 they think old!!!!!! Why she not found someone already. What's wrong with her! My best friend, we met years ago at uni. We are both been on same life shit, single forever path and her life is now great. She's landed amazing job in advertising as junior director and a friends friend has given her flat which is stunning in central London for cheap rent. She has massive bedroom, on suite and even balcony in her room. She's had hair done (cost hundreds but she makes a fortune) and is not short of men to choice from. Plus she is younger than me at 28! I'm happy for her, but also as I sit in my box room going to my tele sales job on minimum wage I am eaten up with jealously. It's bad enough I have the disorder where I'm short and overweight and look younger! But when I had good job I had something now nothing! I don't see how i am ever going to get out of this rut! Been over a year now. I have no money, no savings so I'll never be able to afford place to own. Sent CV to every company going no job and only man interested in me in about 6 years didn't want me after a few dates. I'm so scared i am going to be living in this room or a bedsit forever. In this job that is dreadful (it was this or the benefits) whilst my friend's are directors of ad companies and one has just got job as lawyer. And I'll be on my own, man less and childless at 40 Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (18 July 2012):
 Hi
Look at what opportunities you have,
1) You have no commitments so don't have to stay in London. Its a rat race and perhaps your a square peg in a round hole,outgrown it.Its gotta be the most expensive place in the UK to rent too.
2) If your not getting jobs then re-train,do an evening course or ask at work about training or promotion.Go to Uni.Re-do your CV even.Just be bold.
3) Volunteer doing something you enjoy to meet like minded people.
4) Change the way YOU look, hair etc, you dont have to pay a fortune via the Deal sites or Student training days at a salon. Re-invent yourself for your 30s!
Being 30 something is great, so enjoy it, not everyone is gorgeous rich and successful, its just how your seeing them.
A
female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (17 July 2012):
 Here is a story I hope will make you feel a little better. I am 40 years old. I am still single and childless and I do not think I'm pathetic. I actually like my life.
I did have an emotional affair with a married man for a few years then when he left me, I met my ex who just decided to leave after 9 years. He didn't even give me an explanation as to why. I currently have a boyfriend, but because I am so independent minded now, I am leary about any committments. Luckily, he understands this.
I bought a house for the first time last year. I rented for 15 years prior to that because I was always afraid of losing my job, rent was cheap, and my apartment was nice. However, in my job, like others, someone can just decide they don't like you, and make life miserable enough for you to leave. While I love having my own home, there are a lot of things that I have to deal with that I didn't deal with when I rented. It took me a long time to work up the courage to take a chance and buy a home. Even then, I wondered if I did the right thing.
As for my job, I have both a bachelor's and master's degree and I am not happy with my job either. I have worked so hard to get to where I am, only to have the profession change completely. I am currently thinking about and looking for new opportunities, but with the economy the way it is, it is a little harder these days. So, I stay in my old job and continue to look for opportunities.
I think at times we all feel our lives are going nowhere or that we have not done anything with our lives. If you feel that way, I encourage you to get out and find things you enjoy. I like animals, so I volunteer at the local animal shelter. I like art, so I like for creative events in my community and surrounding area. I like to ride my bike, so I ride daily out in the country. I enjoy interior decorating, so I frequent the library, thrift stores, and antique stores in hopes of finding some treasures to add to my collection at home. You must get outside yourself to see what is out there and possibly even meet new people. I have gone to certain places where I am now a regular and through those people, I meet other people.
What I am trying to say is, don't sell yourself short. I know sometimes life can be quite miserable, boring, or otherwise, but I think we all have something positive to contribute. It could be difficult taking those steps at first, but it could be beneficial. Also realize that you do not have to have a life that looks like everyone else's. I have a friend who is married to a doctor and she brags about all of their new things, new vehicles, new this and that all the time. I am happy with my second-hand items that have more character. I am happy living in a small town and not a big city. I don't need to brag about my life because I am not like that.
As for your size, I am 5'9" and was 223 lbs at my highest weight. Yes, you say, "but you are tall". True, but I was very miserable. I could not find clothes that fit me and I was sad and embarrassed. I did lose some weight by eating better and exercising, and since feel a lot better. But, if you are unhappy with that, that is one thing you could actually work on.
I found that in my 20's and 30's a lot of my peers liked to brag about what they had, what they earned, etc. Now they are realizing that that isn't what life is about. So, don't feel so put down by people. Their lives may not be as rosey as you think. Hopefully this helped a little bit. If you are in a rut, you will find a way out, but it may take some time. Anytime I think about doing something, I have to think about it for awhile before I actually jump.
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