A
female
age
30-35,
*yrrsissohot
writes:i am nearly 14 and i am underpresser about having sex! there are soo many sexy lads that i know, and most of them have asked me out, i have only went out with 1 of them, and there is 9 more lads that have asked me out. the one i went out with said he'd already had sex millions of times, and he wanted me to have sex with him. but i said no! because im too young and im not ready. so i dumped him. but now i intrested in this other guy, who is soo popular, and hes intrested to because he asked me out. what shall i do about it? do you think i should go out with him, but if i do he might ask me for sex? please help me! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, bookaltd +, writes (27 June 2008):
It's good that you were able to say no. No matter how popular this guy is, do not let him or anyone else pressure you into having sex. You are much too young, although very mature for turning down the other boy.
As others have said, if he asks you to have sex and you say no but he still pressures you, he is not worth even knowing. This is a sign he clearly only wants to have sex with you.
Respect yourself! :P
A
female
reader, scrazy  +, writes (24 June 2008):
 Good for you honey, for saying No! and not letting those boys pressure you into doing something you don't want to do!
You are far too young to be having sex, at least wait until you are the age of consent and are positive that you are ready!
Just remember, that all boys are not the same - some are looking for sex only and others actually want a relationship from you.
If you want to go out with this new guy then go ahead. But let him know from now that if he's only after sex then he's not going to get it. Only give what you are comfortable with giving and don't let anyone pressure you.
Take care!
xo
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): Not all boys are the same. Just because one wants sex with you dose"int mean all of them do. I am very proud of you for respecting yourself, by saying no to the guy. Try dating this other guy, he may be a true gentleman, and respect your body, as well as his, and try no hankie pankie. Good luck. And keep to your convictions.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (23 June 2008):
 Okay here's what you do, if he says "Hey, do you want to have sex?" You say "No". Then if he says "How about a blow job?" You say "No." Then if he says "How about I feel you up?" You say "No." Then if he says "Well I guess I don't want to be with someone who doesn't put out." You say "Good and goodbye".
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A
male
reader, logicdebates +, writes (23 June 2008):
You are too young to be dating and considering losing your virginity. Those boys are immature and just want to "get laid" as they call it. I remember what it was like being 14, so many immature boys that need to grow up and face the real world where life isn't all about "getting laid" it's not a game, the consequences are serious.
Forget dating anymore guys, they need some growing up first and to learn to respect you as a person and not just try to sleep with you. Focus on your school and hobbies, worry about dating in college.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (23 June 2008):
 Millions of times eh, really?
The average young male can get an erection slighty more often then when they are older, but 4-5 is really the max.
That means that in order to have sex a million times he would need to have had sex for 547 years each and every day. A tad unlikely.
Or if he started at say the age of 10 and is now 15 we come to an average of 109 times a day.
Oh you said millions, not 1 million.
I think he may have been exaggerating a little bit.
Now, the classic role division is that the boy asks for sex, the girl refuses allowing BOTH of them to grow up and become closer before it actually happens.
Just remember that YOU have the right to say no for as long as you want and if they keep putting pressure on you that is an obvious sign they are only after sex and don't care about you at all.
Wait until YOU are ready, not because somebody else says so.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (23 June 2008):
 Many more boys say they've had sex than actually have - but don't make a mistake about that, because nearly ALL of them want it even though many are far too nervous at that age to do it.
Don't take any notice of what boys ask you to do. Do only what you feel comfortable doing - and don't let him do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You don't have to, and contrary to what they might tell you, the less you do the more attentive lots of them will be.
I'm not going to tell you how old you should be when you have sex for the first time. I would only say that there's no rush and it's got to be when you really want to, not when some over-enthusiastic lad tells you that you ought to. There are still many girls who wait until they're either married or in a relationship they're fairly sure is going to last for many, many years. There are also many who don't wait, but it's your decision not any else's.
But don't let it stop you going out with the boys. If they make it obvious before you go out with them that's what they expect, then make it equally obvious that's NOT what they're going to get. If they "try it on" then be firm about it. If they persist, then a slap in the face usually works - failing that, a knee in the groin is very effective but that really is an absolute last resort! I'm sure it won't come to that.
Enjoy learning, but let your emotions, feelings and sexuality move forward at your own speed and in your own time.
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A
male
reader, Peterk5699 +, writes (23 June 2008):
 Well done for being one of those who are smart enough to know you are not ready (nor old enough).
I'd say go out with this boy but if he pressures you, just dump his sorry arse (ass).
Most of the boys who say they've had sex with a girl are normally lying just to fit in with the group. I used to be scared to admit I was a virgin until 3 years ago. They're scared their friends will laugh at them.
Like O Connor said - just respect yourself and your body. Only you will know when you are ready.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (23 June 2008):
 I applaud you that you want to wait to have sex. I think these boys are just boasting to make themselves look good about having sex. You stick to your guns and wait patiently, I lost my virginity whan I was 18 and glad I waited too.Its your body hun and no one elses, so don't be pressured, plus you are underage too. You have all the time in the world to have a serious relationship and far too young to have one. Concentrate on your studies, I bet the girls your age that has already lost their virginity, are regretting it already. they are the ones who are gonna catch a STD or get pregnant. There is too much peer pressure for young people nowadays to have sex, just to prove that they are grown up. Sadly this makes them look anything but grown up.
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (23 June 2008):
 hi chicken - first of all fair play to you for knowing that you are too young and need to wait to have sex - you're very mature and waiting will make it all the more special for you. all these guys that have asked you out may just want sex, or may be in the same boat as you. if you do really like this guy then go out with him and give it a shot - it wont take long to see wat he really wants from you.
just make sure you respect yourself always, and others will respect you too. if he does ask for sex, tell him that you are not ready and would prefer to take things slow - if he cant understand then he is not worth your time.
hope this helps hun, email me if you want. i waited until i was 18 and im so glad i did!! xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): you are way 2 young 2 be havin sex ! if he really loved you .. he will wait til YOU are ready !
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