A
female
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anonymous
writes:ive recently started seeing an ex again. Its nothing serious, we are sleeping together and see each other occasionally. This has been going on for about a month. A couple of days ago he said he was thinking about moving to australia. I didnt think much of it but ever since, he keeps mentioning it or hinting about it and I dont know if he;'s trying to get some kind of reaction out of me. I dont know what he wants me to say. And also, he is planning on moving there in January. I think that maybe its probably a good idea if I stop seeing him now, as in January I would have grown more closer to him and it would be harder for me to see him go. Is this the right decision? I dont know what to do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): Yeah, he might be trying to get a reaction out of you. Or he might be serious and just trying to prepare you to not get too attached.
In either case, what I would do is stay cool (don't give him a reaction), and start to see less of him. But don't give him a reason (as he's already given you plenty). So don't be like "oh well you're moving away so I think we should not see each other." DON'T SAY ANYTHING. Just simply start acting like you are real busy and see alot less of him. This will definitely get a reaction out of him.
One of two things will happen. He will either fall for you even more and panic at the thought of "losing" you. Or he will not care, and he will move to Australia in January anyway. And in both instances you win. Because, if he does move, you didn't let yourself get any more attached to him so you won't be too disappointed if he leaves. Or in the other case, you will know that he does in fact want you in his life. Either way it's a win-win situation. So yeah, your best bet is to pull back.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): I seem to be having a similar problem at the moment. I am also seeing my ex at the moment every now and then! I believe that whatever the future holds that would jeopardise what you have, ie. australia, you should just forget for now. live in the moment. You never know, but he may well change his mind if he is really attached to you. If you are still very much into him then so be it. You are still going to feel like shit if he goes, whether its now or 6 months down the line. but just...just have fun. maybe even tell him how you are feeling. I know its hard, but sometimes it clears the air. xxx
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