A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I really need to know what i should do.I'm in a 9 month relationship with a guy that is older than me.I have done the last hing for him. At first my parents didnt approve of our relationship (our families had a fall out) and i ran away from home with him but i have returned as my parents decided to give him a chance. We are intimate for about 6 months and now i have suspected that he is chatting to a girl from his past, so i confronted him and he admitted to it.He said that all that was said was that he really loves me and is seriuos about us.Now i am hearing more stories about him and her and i don't know who to believe.It seems like everyone including him is lying to me. Please help me make a decision to move forward. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (5 July 2007):
 Your welcome and good luck hunni!
xxxxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, Thank you all for the amazing advice. My bf has admittes to his wrong actions and has said he is sorry and would do anything to prove he is. He says he is very much prepared to work in our relationdhip and prove to me that he really does love me and wants to be with me. He sounds very sincere and he has already made an effort to avoid all contact with this girl (He now uses a different route to work). I have decided to give him a last chance and see where our relationship goes, if i do suspect anything in the future i would definately walk out. Thank you for all the advice i have made my decision through you lot.
Thanx
xxx
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (3 July 2007):
You can't make this guy tell you the truth. It's down to you whether or not you believe what he says. If you truly think he's still lying then you need to seriously think about how much respect for you this guy really has.
xxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, DIE-romantic. +, writes (3 July 2007):
 Most rumours turn out to be total rubbish in the end. But deep down what do you believe? I would stay with him and just see what else pops up. If you feel you cant cope with all of this, maybe it would be best to call it a day. That way its less confusing. Hope it works out. xxx
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A
female
reader, Dawnie +, writes (3 July 2007):
 I agree with the first answer, these people could well be jealous.There is nothing wrong with him chatting to this girl,and maybe people have come to the wrong conclusion about this. You know your bf better than these people, do you think he would lie to you?
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A
female
reader, witch-fire +, writes (3 July 2007):
 These people spreading stories about him could just be jealous of your relationship with him. Do you think he would cheat on you? You clearly trusted him enough to take the relationship further. You know this guy better than anyone on this site. What do you think of him?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, thanx you for the advice. With reagrds to te stories i have heard when i ask him, art first he denies everything, then after some time he says" ok, that was true" then he would add liitlemore, now he says he has told me everything and there's nothing more to say.The reason i asked him to stop speaking to her and not to have any contact at with her at all is because she is the type of person to make things bigger than they usually are. They are step relatives so i do understand that at some point there has to some contact but she & her family are the type to make it something that it wasn't. He has agreed to confront her today about what i have been hearing and whether they are true, should i go with it or would i be made a stupid infront of herself & her intimdating family?Is there any other way i can get the truth out of him without being lied & hurt to anymore?
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A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (3 July 2007):
 First of all you should believe yourself.
Are the stories close to what you expect?
If answer is "yes", it's possible you misinterpret the facts.
If answer is "no", you should not be so influenced by others.
The attitude is caused by different background, not by ex GF.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (3 July 2007):
If they are just rumours ignore them. If there are things that your guy is doing or not doing that have got your worried then quiz him. Like if he starts spending a lot of time away from you, doesn't pick up your calls more than once. Stuff like that.You know how he tends to act.
As dazzerg says give him the benefit of the doubt for now and see how it goes. Has he cut contact with the girl or is it still going on? There's no harm in him talking to her, just there shouldn't be nothing more.
xxxxxxxx
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (3 July 2007):
 Alot of people will say there is no smoke without fire but I tend to disagree. There can be and often is smoke without fire. My line with all these things is pretty much always that you have to stick to what can be established in fact, that is until there is hard evidence that something more is going on you have to give the benefit of the doubt.
The rumours you are hearing could be based on nothing more than a close friendship or could even be a design of hers to diliberately destabalise the relationship. Ultimately there is no crime in talking to a ex partner from your past and talking can be nothing more.
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