A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:ive been with my b/f for bout 7 years. he cheated on me 3 years ago, i found out we broke up and got back together. ive been trying so hard to trust him again but just cant do it completely. i check his emails and he doesnt know this, i feel bad but cant tell him i do it. so i know he has her number and contacts her, but not how much/ how often cos i dont check his mobile. i cant confront him bout it cos i would have to admit i am being decietful and checking his emails behind his back. i just feel like i would rather know the truth for myself and keep quiet than have him lie to me (and be none the wiser) cos he says when i do mention her and ask him direct when he last had contact that he doesnt even have her number anymore!!! i feel so stupid and it pains me so badly. i love him so much and dont want to leave him. i feel like im punishing myself but i dont know what to do, please help?
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female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (30 May 2008):
 I would confront him with the evidence and ask why he has any contact with her at all. If you believe his answer all well and good you can move on. But if he is lying about having her number you may not get a straight answer and you will always be unable to trust him as this will not go away. Sit down and talk to him and then make your decision based on whether or not you get the truth or just more lies x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): My goodness I think you are within your rights to check every last method of communication he has. But there is only a point to it if you will act on the evidence (bad news or otherwise) when you are ready to confront what is (I think obviously) going on then I wouldn't hold back. Surely you are angry enough at being treated in this way?
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A
female
reader, Gio  +, writes (30 May 2008):
Hi,
I know, it is not easy to trust a person once they have failed us. The problem is whether you will ever trust him again. If you think you cannot, no matter how much you try (and him keeping in touch with another woman doesn't help), then I would say stop torturing yourself. Surely it will be hard to break up if you still love him, but time is a great healer, and there are plenty of fish in the sea ;) You will find someone who will really love, respect and value you.
All the best
Gio
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A
female
reader, supergrove +, writes (30 May 2008):
hunny!
i'm not being funny you gave him a second chance and you know he cheating on you again
don't give him the the chance to keep doing this to you.
you can do so much better then him
their another guy out their. who is so much better then him.
you need to be with some one who want to be with you not another girl
you say you've been with him for 7 years and he cheated on you with in 3 of those yrs
hunny wake up and smell the coco
he aint worth it!
men like tha don't deserve ppl like you.
you can do so much better.
once and gut cheated on you. you don't ever go back cuz he just going to be thinking how yh i've got her round my finger i can tell her anything and she will believe me cuz she loves me
no don't let him think that don't get him the chance to make you look like a mug
end it before you get hurt
i know you love him but is it really love!
cuz you can't love some one if you don't trust them.
jus think bout that my saying is
the most important thing in the world is to be loved and be loved in return
and you deserve that.
just think bout it but don't stay with him cuz he knows where he got you and that round his finger just where he wnts you.
don't do it no more END IT.
you'rs
supergrove
x-x-x-x-x-x
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (30 May 2008):
 Your punishing yourself yes.
Hes lying to you, is having his cake and eating it, and to a certain extent you're fine with that? why?
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